DSi? Isn’t that a rank in the Police?

So, Nintendo have created an update of an update of an overhaul of an update of an upgrade of an update of a concept of a small one-game LCD handheld from 1982. But, is it really anything new?

The Nintendo DSi is the latest in a long line of hand-helds that are tiding us over until they can think of something new. However, I will side with Nintendo on the fact that they make something new that is really rough around the edges, and then continuing to improve on it until they have absolutely bled the concept dry. The original GameBoy was a brick, in every way. By the end of it’s particular arc it was the GameBoy Color. Smaller, lighter and generally nicer to use. The original GameBoy Advance was like something from Early Learning, without even so much as a backlight. Two revisions later it was the epoch making Advance SP, finishing off as the Micro. Then, the original DS was a dog, but the DS Lite is quite something to behold, and the DSi is obviously following on the trend that little further. Smaller form factor, bigger screens, other basic revisions… etc. etc.

They have certainly made more of an effort than Sony. 3 revisions to the PSP later, and nothing has changed. Even after all this time, they still can’t place the power button in a more sensible place! I can see the design meeting now: ‘Oooh, I know. Let’s change the layout of the buttons and make it a little less hackable. People will want to pay through the nose for that! Right, okay guys, job done. Let’s hit the golf course!’ The PSP, most definitely the Porsche 911 of the gaming world.

So, the DSi is just a logical progression of planned technological evolution. I do think though, that the DSi could be heading for a rather sticky, stereotypical end… because they have added a whole new range of functions to it. Okay, the camera is new. But, the ability to play mp3s, view photos and movies, while already available to those with carts like the DSOne, has been done before. Hmmm. Let’s think back… Oh yes. The Gizmondo!

- Galford.

Quit while you’re behind…

Okay, I hereby revoke my own subscription to the Sony store. What a load of shit. I honestly thought, when it started out that it would be the answer to all of my ‘But I want to play PS1 games on my PSP’ lamentations. I sang it’s praises when I first learned of it’s existence. Now, I realise that the Sony Store reflects everything I remember about my experiences with the original Playstation.

My purchase of a PS1 was more of an afterthought. I had a Sega Saturn. I still had a MegaDrive on my desk along with a PC and an Amiga. I was more than happy with my lot. But, I pined after the great Gran Turismo. It was around this time that I learned that the PS1 had been subject to the usual 6 monthly increment reduction in price. This was around a year into the Playstation’s life, and I had already learned from the Mega CD and 32X debacle that I should not purchase games consoles upon launch. The price tag was around the £100 mark, I had just been paid, and I thought what the hell, I would invest. I purchased it brand-new, with a copy of said game. Over the next month or so, I also purchased half a dozen more titles, including Tenchu, Streetfighter EX+Alpha, and Driver. Then, the fateful day arrived. I walked into my local Electronics Boutique (as it was at the time) to decide on my next title. After wandering up and down the PS aisle for at least 30 minutes, I was shocked and dismayed to discover that everything else was total dross. Uninspiring, boring, under-par, pointless, or just a complete waste of my hard-earned cash. There were at least four times more games in the Playstation section than the now dwindling Saturn section, yet I could glance across and see many classic Sega titles, most of which I owned, many of which I wanted a hell of a lot more than all this PS shite. It was then that the cold feeling of realisation that I had bought a turkey. In the entire course of owning an original Playstation, I only bought a grand total of 8 games – compared to the near 100 titles on the Saturn, and God only knows how many PC games. I have owned almost every games system in existence at some point in time, but none have had the dubious accolade that the Playstation had of ‘Most Uninspired Waste of Money’. None.

The Sony Store is doing exactly the same thing. I have a handful of titles from the woefully under stocked European version of the store. Destruction Derby. Wipeout. Hardcore 4x4. The Ridge Racer 2 demo. The Wipeout Pure Demo. And that’s it. Nothing else on there is even remotely worth the money that is now stuck in my account due to the minimum deposit requirement.

Thanks a fucking lot, Sony.

Galford.