Friday 27 February 2009

Careless Talk Costs Sanity...

Sometimes, Zig and I talk. We really do! Novel, I know. I just thought it may prove insightful for you to see the sorts of conversations we have. Because we are nuts...

Galford: Hey ho, you there?
Zigganoid: yup. hows u
Galford: I have no idea
Galford: How is you?
Zigganoid: you should ask yourself. I am not too bad, I have street fighter 4 and that makes my face smile
Galford: Nice. I am seriously considering a 360 now
Galford: I mean SERIOUSLY
Galford: is it funkadelic?
Zigganoid: get one, online works beautifully and we could finally fight regularly again
Zigganoid: It just might be the best one yet
Galford: oh, for the times gone by!
Galford: It looks absolutely awesome
Zigganoid: they have sorted the counter system out, so none of that impossioble parrying nonsense from sf3
Zigganoid: The new characters are actually really good, even fatboy Rufus
Galford: That was arse. Unless you are Daigo
Zigganoid: yup
Galford: What characters are actually in it?
Zigganoid: ken
Zigganoid: ryu
Zigganoid: dhalsim
Zigganoid: chinli
Zigganoid: zangief
Zigganoid: ehonda
Zigganoid: bison
Zigganoid: sagat
Zigganoid: balrog
Zigganoid: vega
Zigganoid: fei long
Zigganoid: cammy
Zigganoid: sakura
Zigganoid: blanka
Zigganoid: er
Galford: Excellent, so it's a proper old-school Streetfighter
Zigganoid: yup sf2 cast plus a few
Zigganoid: oh yeah rose
Galford: I must get 360, there are a lot of games on it that I really want now
Zigganoid: akuma
Zigganoid: whats ryu's master called
Galford: My soul is longing for a good bit of chop-socky
Galford: gouki
Zigganoid: yep him
Galford: Funky!
Zigganoid: 4 new guys
Galford: Reasons for a 360:

Virtua Fighter 5
Burnout Paradise
StreetFighter 4
Galford: There are more, but I think those alone are enough
Galford: I don't use my kidneys, I could sell those
Zigganoid: The orange box is awesome
Zigganoid: you might be best to keep one
Galford: and my liver, and my lungs, and my brain
Galford: ...but my junk stays!
Zigganoid: you have a brain? thats being greedy
Zigganoid: I now have 35 games on the 360, not including downloaded. I just cant stop
Galford: Only half of one, really
Galford: Mmmm
Zigganoid: it am the new dreamcast
Galford: I was playing on my DC last night...
Zigganoid: oh yeah and the new final fantasy is exclusive to 360 which means I can laugh at ps3 owners
Galford: my old life is gone
Galford: My parents move house today
Zigganoid: where to
Galford: (sob)
Galford: They are going to stay in Crowle with friends for a bit, but they want to move to Wales!
Zigganoid: I broke a door in that house and suplexed you onto cushions. Wales is dumb
Galford: Yah! Those were the days! That door still doesn't sound right...!
Zigganoid: i still dont sound right
Galford: True. Your mouth is too far to the left
Zigganoid: I am coming up in a week or so. Maybe we can get together for a bit
Galford: ...and you twisted your neck
Zigganoid: yup
Zigganoid: see above
Zigganoid: visit
Galford: Cool, just give me warning this time!
Galford: Oh, you just did
Zigganoid: well we are coming next weekend and probably staying till about tues or wed
Galford: Right, okay, I shall attempt to make a f*ckoff great hole in my schedule
Zigganoid: cool, shall i bring 360 and sf4?
Galford: No
Galford: sorry, I meant yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYESYESYESYES
Zigganoid: oh alright then, as long as I can say "fucky"
Galford: I think that should be said at the start of every super-move...
Zigganoid: super-fucky-hyper-bunny-mode
Zigganoid: haha, mega cd
Galford: I still have one in the loft, not sure it works though
Zigganoid: mine broke, but the hacked xbox1 can be pursuaded to play mega cd games
Zigganoid: and pong
Zigganoid: and sam fox strip poker
Galford: Hahaha
Galford: My house is full
Zigganoid: and the banjo
Galford: with the movement of my parents, All my stuff has come home to roost
Galford: my God, I've got some shit
Zigganoid: old shit+ebay=360
Zigganoid: ££$$££Kachingggg$$$££££
Galford: Yerrs
Galford: I have a C64 with lots of games
Zigganoid: me too
Galford: Kinda like a 360,
Zigganoid: I have ninja scooter simulator
Galford: apart from the fact it's nothing like a 360
Zigganoid: bit like mystaria
Galford: YAY
Galford: Mystaria is fucky
Zigganoid: I have hungry horace
Galford: I have the Mystaria soundtrack on my MP3 player
Galford: it's...
Galford: ...a bit like Mystaria
Zigganoid: I'm a bit like mystaria
Zigganoid: so are you
Zigganoid: and sheila easton
Zigganoid: ....who's she?
Zigganoid: who am i
Galford: Don't know. Don't want to know
Zigganoid: what is mystaria
Zigganoid: whats going on and is there any way of stopping it?
Zigganoid: sf4 is a bit like mystaria
Galford: (Tangent) have you seen GameDamage?
Zigganoid: so is pong
Zigganoid: nope, had no internet for a week, which isnt fucky
Galford: Ugh, how can anyone survive without Internet?
Galford: Internet is good for you. Cures stress, fatigue, Gout, Missing Bimbs and baldness
Zigganoid: I had to cut up magazines and flash cutouts in front of my face whlie jerking off into a waste paper bin, while singing about how everything and everyone everywhere is a bit like mystaria
Zigganoid: jerking off is a bit like mystaria
Zigganoid: ........if you do it right
Galford: Yup. when you get that twinkling feeling
Zigganoid: I like to level up
Galford: ...and you end up going a Phoenix sword counter
Zigganoid: feel that mana rising
Zigganoid: and then splunge blat ploogie.........splut
Galford: consume your enemies in your aura
Zigganoid: wipe it on the curtains
Galford: and any allies who were dumb enough to stand in the way
Galford: splut
Zigganoid: freindly fire.....very friendly fire
Zigganoid: and a free shampoo
Galford: and set
Galford: full cream milk
Zigganoid: shampoo horn
Galford: Speaking of talking shit,
Galford: or talking of speaking shit
Galford: you are somewhat lacking on the blog front..
Zigganoid: Yup, I know and there is so much to write about.
Galford: I assume you have lost all your fingers and are typing with your grollies at the moment
Zigganoid: yup
Galford: ...and we are back to Pong
Zigganoid: I will be back to it very soon
Zigganoid: halo 3 map downloaded, yay I can shoot americans
Galford: ...and how's the missus? (blah blah)
Zigganoid: a bit saucy (blah blah)
Zigganoid: hows yours? (blah blah)
Galford: hotter than a June bride in a feather bed (blah blah)
Zigganoid: I feel like drinking a gallon of turpentine and pissing on a brush fire
Galford: Are you in gear yet? Richard?
Zigganoid: this race is wet and me
Galford: (snort) okay, I'm ready now
Zigganoid: that game was the greatest....and only a bit like mystaria
Galford: yup. the shit
Galford: big fucky racing
Zigganoid: played it a while ago and its awful now.....still love it though
Galford: indeed, that's it's allure
Galford: it would be crap if it was great
Zigganoid: yup
Galford: but it's the fact that it's crap that makes it great
Galford: (confused)
Zigganoid: hmmmm, is my head o straight?
Galford: it's a micron too high
Zigganoid: btw, both penny arcade games are on xbox live arcade
Zigganoid: they are funnnnnnny
Zigganoid: but a bit pricey
Galford: They have awesome names
Zigganoid: they do
Galford: ...and they really, really are...
Galford: ...a bit like Mystaria
Zigganoid: and believe it or not they genuinaly are a bit like mystaria......and monkey island
Zigganoid: hahahahhaa
Galford: Haha, beat ya
Galford: with a stick
Zigganoid: you wish
Galford: a brown, sticky stick
Zigganoid: was it the wet end
Zigganoid: splut....eeeeeuuuuuurgrrrrggggghhhhh
Galford: with a Dog attached to the end by it's teeth
Zigganoid: that aint my belly button......that aint my finger neither
Galford: dadadadadadada
Galford: uuuurrrrgh ... ngh, hrrgh
Galford: blat
Zigganoid: get the lead out
Galford: excuse me while I clean that up
Zigganoid: why wasnt there a big red racing 2
Galford: ...because it would either be awesome, because it's more crapness
Galford: ...or crap, because they would try to improve it
Zigganoid: new carmageddon is suppsedly heading to 360, I may have to get some cream proof undeies
Galford: I reckon we should make a sub-blog of these conversations
Zigganoid: epyt t'nac i
Galford: I played that on the N64. It was arse
Zigganoid: you are right
Galford: and nothing like Mystaria
Zigganoid: bastards
Zigganoid: and they killed kenny
Galford: utter utter bastards
Galford: I wanted to kill Kenny
Zigganoid: did u ever play carma on the gba?
Zigganoid: uuuuurrrrrrrrgggggghhhh
Galford: Hahaha... no
Zigganoid: why did they even think it was possible
Zigganoid: and its sort of in 3d
Galford: Becuase they are monumental fuckwits
Zigganoid: they did sega rally as well, it was like a toasted turd
Galford: They made GTA3 for the GBA. It was basically...
Galford: GTA1!
Zigganoid: While they are at it I think they should bring out halo 4 for the bbc micro while they are at it
Galford: No, it would simply be too good
Zigganoid: or mystaria for the pocket calculator
Galford: 8008135
Zigganoid: or sims on mobile phones.....ah shit they did.....about 70 times. bastards
Galford: That was totally arse. They bring out the worst games of all times, chew up all your phone's storage space, so you can play shit and not even take pictures of Ronnie Corbett. Despickable
Zigganoid: clockwork tin plate late 20's grand theft auto with eagle eye action.
Zigganoid: or pokemon carved out of rock
Galford: They have those in Japan
Galford: I think they should bring out SF4 on an abacus
Zigganoid: handy pocket fucking bowling alley
Zigganoid: hahaha
Zigganoid: yup
Galford: I want to play Test Drive Unlimited on a piece of string!!
Zigganoid: i want to play super mario galaxy on an atom
Zigganoid: worms with real worms
Galford: Haha, that woudl rock
Zigganoid: snakes and ladders with real snakes and ladders
Galford: I want to tie 3 tonnes of semtex to Earthworm Jim
Zigganoid: and interactive porn with a real lady
Zigganoid: erm, hang on
Zigganoid: thats a bit too much like mystaria
Galford: Naah. That's overrated
Galford: (like fuckery)
Zigganoid: haha, we talk bot-rot
Galford: It's the bast way to spend the time
Zigganoid: yup
Galford: bast?
Galford: hmmm
Zigganoid: haha you type wearing boxing gloves
Zigganoid: on your eyes
Zigganoid: lets play props
Zigganoid: bif, bop bleeeeep
Galford: your left nostril
Zigganoid: wrong it was my right
Zigganoid: or ziggy
Galford: Haha, do you know what's funny?
Zigganoid: mystaria?
Galford: apart from getting your testicles injected with Nitrous Oxide
Galford: Which I haven't (I don't think?)
Zigganoid: nope, i think thats the funniest thing i did yesterday
Galford: I occasionally have a tourets-style outburst of talking bot-rot to my computer screen
Zigganoid: so you should
Galford: Em rushed in, fearing the worst, looked at me and said 'Oh, it's just you.'
Galford: hahahahaha
Galford: caught bot-rotting
Zigganoid: If your folks are moving to wales (baaaaa), then you shopuld move here
Galford: it's more fun than being caught rubbing one out
Zigganoid: shopuld????
Galford: apparently
Galford: I would move to Wales, but there's a problem
Zigganoid: its welsh
Galford: It's shit
Zigganoid: yup
Galford: yuo
Galford: yup
Galford: FUCKY!!
Zigganoid: have you bought a 360 yet?
Galford: My fingers think they are pork scratchings with atrophy
Zigganoid: how about now?
Zigganoid: now?
Zigganoid: how about now?
Zigganoid: hmmmm?
Galford: Yes
Galford: No.
Zigganoid: woohoo
Zigganoid: oh bolloc
Galford: I thought I had then
Galford: but I was wrong. It's just my leg.
Zigganoid: damn, did you get confused between buying a 360 and scratching your arse
Zigganoid: bugger
Zigganoid: cant type fast enbnough
Zigganoid: wow new word
Galford: cool, give it a meaning
Galford: I have an idea
Zigganoid: it means somethng a bit like mystaria
Galford: let's come up with a dictionary of meanings for mis-spelt words
Zigganoid: everything means a bit like mystaria except for hlelo which means nothing like mystaria and is therefore a swear word
Galford: I think we should call it the conplete concise dictionayr
Galford: hahaha
Zigganoid: the dyslexics guide to pslenigs
Galford: the 'conplete' was a legitimate mistype
Zigganoid: haha you are dumb for real
Zigganoid: fucky
Galford: no, I am dmub
Zigganoid: I set fire to your science book
Galford: Yay
Galford: did it burn with green flame?
Zigganoid: ninja flipbooks
Galford: I found all those in my follk's loft
Galford: Mmmm
Zigganoid: my ass gas burns with a green flame
Galford: are you the green hornet?
Zigganoid: i am the blue rasperry
Zigganoid: you are the eggman coo coo kachoo
Galford: I am the puce flipflop
Zigganoid: I am the bringer of fluids
Zigganoid: you are the spiller of seed
Galford: you are a fluid ounce
Zigganoid: will is the face full of dandelions
Galford: I have an ear of corn
Zigganoid: I have a nose for music
Galford: I have a good ear for music.
Zigganoid: you have a face for radio
Galford: the rest of me, however is completely rotten
Zigganoid: my knee caps are burbbery
Galford: Hahaha, you have chavvy calves
Zigganoid: My eye lids came from dustbins
Galford: I love these conversations. They bring me back to a decent level of surreality
Zigganoid: true, you need to excersise your lunatic side or it deserts you and you become (shudder) normal
Galford: reality sucks like a perverted vacuum cleaner
Galford: I had an epiphany the other day
Galford: tasted fucking awful
Zigganoid: yup, speaking of which work is looning so I must go soon, but at least I get to ask ladies about their periods
Zigganoid: cheesy
Galford: one last anecdote
Galford: I went into CEX and saw my XPS laptop, my Acer netbook, and my gay green DS on the shelf side by side
Galford: and I thought FUCKY!
Galford: Em's selling my shit!
Zigganoid: yup, do you have a good ds now
Galford: No, it's still gay green
Galford: ....but when did that become the flagship colour??
Galford: see? TWO question marks!
Zigganoid: dsi is pointless
Galford: The DSi is basically a DS remodelled as a Gizmondo
Galford: morons
Zigganoid: they bring out the guitar hero controller and a rumble pack for the gba slot then relrelease the ds without it
Galford: they are thinking of making games that use the movement captured by the camera to move.
Galford: The humble old Giz was doing that 4 years ago!
Galford: motherfuckers
Galford: unclefuckers
Galford: grannyfuckers
Zigganoid: yup. ninty should stick to great games and stop fucking around with technology
Galford: unknownChinesemanfuckers!
Zigganoid: puddlefuckers
Galford: fuckyfuckers
Galford: Anyway, you must earn pennies
Galford: and use them for transport to see my gleeful knuckles
Zigganoid: yeah, with that I must go. I have ebay parcels to do before work and i might have to have a quick sf4 battle b4 i go.
Galford: me too. I'll be there 90 seonds ago
Galford: in the other not so long ago
Zigganoid: yup, see you soon. I will confirm when I will be there soon so we can arrange a battle seession
Galford: see? I've been and gone. You were crap.
Galford: k dude, I have a phone, don't forget!
Zigganoid: yup, cheerybye fella
Galford: byesybye!

Obviously, everything here as it is in our entire blog are our own views and not aimed at anyone or anything in a not-very-nice way. If you are offended by this, please feel free to fuck off and boil your neighbour's little finger. Thankyou!

Also, any typing errors are completely intentional. So there. And there.

- Galford.