Wednesday 28 January 2009

I Don’t have Time for Linux…

Okay, so at the moment, there are two main aspects to my technological life. There’s gaming obviously, a core component of the physical makeup of my very being. The other is gadgets. Now this is quite possibly a spinoff from my love of gaming, and the technology behind it.

Every time a new gaming platform is announced, everyone who can call themselves an expert in the field will endeavour to find out the technical specification of the hardware. This is so that they can be awed by how much more powerful it is than their current system, be the focal point of conversation amongst their piers, or wave the facts in front of the guy who just bought the rival machine. But for me, this was never enough…

The problem was, once I had obtained the latest games console, the goal had gone. The wanting appeased. I needed something new to look forward to. Thus started my love of computers, mobile phones, PDAs, and other quirky yet strangely utilitarian gizmos. What this is all getting round to is the purchasing of my new Acer Aspire One netbook.

For me, the Aspire One is the perfect gadget. At the moment, anyway. It is a sublime blend of the power of my XPS desktop, mixed with the portability of my MDA. It is not as bulky or heavy as my other laptops, but it is not as powerful either. But that doesn’t bother me, as it is meant to be a loyal companion that lets me do 90% of the things I enjoy doing at home while out and about. There is only one thing to sully this otherwise awesome achievement in mobile technology.

Linux. Despite all of it’s advances and trying to throw off the shackles of it’s past, having a near 50/50 share of the netbook market, and being tailor-made for the micro laptop, it is still the preserve of the uber-geek.

Now, this had not come as a shock. I had spent a lot of time in shops like Currys and PC World before purchasing said netbook. Enjoying the experience in daily 5 minute intervals. I knew that the one in my price range would have to come with Linux. I really didn’t mind it after trying it out. It was something I thought I could learn, get used to, begin to master… But living with it everyday, that was something totally different. The lack of compatibility, the lack of games, the command line installations, having to take crash courses in GNOME (?!?), having to install 3 programs just in order to see my network, the new file structure, the ease of breaking the OS… and that was only after the first 3 days! After that, it was time to sacrifice a laptop for a Windows installation. Oh, happy days are here again!

I know that it’s free. I know that it’s much, much better than it used to be. I know that in some ways, it’s superior to Windows. But I am not the ultimate geek. Neither do I want to be. I do not want to frequent Linux forums to find information where I feel like I’m being watched by people who haven’t set foot out of their parent’s houses in years. I do not want to be a code monkey. So thanks Linux, but it was never meant to be. It was fun for a while, but you’re just a bit too freaky under the covers for me. Later!

- Galford

Friday 9 January 2009

Dirge Racer

Hello again, and a happy new year to all. Let me also be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Fuck yeah.

Right, on to the meat (and 2 veg) of today's offering.

Ridge Racer. A series of games that really should have finished at the first attempt. Because everything since then has been total and unequivocal shit. It actually seems that the further the more sequels progress, the more and more unrealistic the racing environment becomes...

Now, I personally think that the first Ridge Racer was an incredible game. I used to love play the full-scale version, where you actually sat in a Mazda MX5, with a full cinema screen in front of you, and surround-sound making for the last word in immersive driving experiences, long before the fabled Red Letter Days became commonplace. Even after this vanished due to being a colossal waste of money on Namco’s behalf, the game in the arcade cabinet was still fun. Okay, granted, the driving physics were very odd. As long as you were drifting, you would make it round the corner. Every single time. But this was in the days just after Virtua Racing, where driving physics had not been given the Gran Turismo benchmark just yet. Plus, it was done in such a way that you really did feel like it was your talent as the driver that got you round, not Scalextric style handling. The fact that there was only 1 car, and 1.5 tracks could be overlooked too.

I tried playing Ridge Racer 2 when it hit the arcades, but it was just not the same. Everything looked similar, but it lacked something. I think it was down to lack of improvement. It was just the original Ridge Racer, with a few new cars & tracks. Actually, looking back… I don’t even know if the cars were new, or just all of the ones that you couldn’t be from the first RR. But, this was not the era of Sega Rally. The first game to really nail the handling. It was perfect. I had Ridge Racer on the PS1 by this point, but after Sega Rally on the Saturn, I don’t think I played it again for months, apart from small sprees to remind me how good it’s Sega counterpart really was.

The next Ridge Racer I came into contact with was Ridge Racer 4, on the PS1. This had a total play time of about 15 minutes, because I hated it. I really, really hated it. The handling was still awful, and the car designs left a petrol-head like me practically in mourning. I only bought it because it was in the bargain bin at some big department store, whose name eludes me right now, and because it came with the first real attempt at an analogue driving pad. This also proved to be horrible. Game returned. After this, I did not play a Ridge Racer game again for a long time, because of Gran Turismo 2, 3 and 4, Sega Rally 2, Daytona on the Dreamcast, Grand Theft Auto, Scud Race, Out Run 2, swathes of Need for Speed games and many, many others. Every time I saw a Ridge Racer game advertised, I would habitually avoid it. Then I acquired a Nintendo DS, and a PSP. Now, I waited what seemed to be an eternity for Gran Turismo mobile to come out before I gave up. Ford Racing LA Duel was arse, and there was nothing of any note on the DS. Except Need for Speed Most Wanted and Carbon, but they just didn’t cut it graphically. So I thought I would indulge once again. I bought Ridge Racer for the PSP, and for the DS. I was amazed to find that the PSP version, while being graphically very good, had deteriorated to a level below the first ever Ridge Racer on the handling front. It was diabolical, a total travesty! As long as you were drifting, you could make it round every corner. Even hairpins, during a Nitrous boost, and facing the wrong way! What?!? Plus, the AI was simply awful. Nitrous would spontaneously respawn, and car weight was completely variable. Particularly during races! A boy-racer’s dream, this game. Therefore my idea of hell. So after giving up on that I thought I would give the last bastion of hope a try. The DS version.

Well, as it stands, the last time I played it, I was stuck on a race, where despite using the fastest available car, on a track I have now driven hundreds of times, I still cannot beat the dark blue car with the big spoiler. I have given up. Again. Fuck this.

So I officially resign from Ridge Racer. The banger racing of the driving world. But I just don’t get it. Namco make games like Soul Calibur. Undoubtedly one of the finest beat ‘em up series of modern times. How could they screw up this bad on their flagship driving game franchise?

Well, that’s it. Back to Test Drive Unlimited. Mmmm, yes.

- Galford.