Okay, so when does the bad become good? When something even worse comes along afterwards…
I recently re-watched the Nostalgia Critic’s review of Streetfighter The Movie. He was, of course spot-on with his outlook of the whole shambles. However, after watching that, I thought I would watch the Streetfighter film once again. Just for old time’s sake. Yes, there was a time I thought it was good. I was not old enough to know better!
Every time I see it, I love drawing the same conclusion. I will dispense this revelation now.
So, the winners – who effectively ‘complete’ the film/game are: Guile, Chun Li, Cammy, Ken, Ryu, Zangief, E. Honda, T. Hawk, Balrog and Captain Sawada. Apart from the fact that Balrog should be on Bison’s side. And Zangief was on Bison’s side in the film. And Captain Sawada has never been in the fucking game. Streetfighter The Movie The Game doesn’t count.
I have never been able to complete any Streetfighter game currently available with that many people simultaneously. Well, technically I came close with Marvel Vs Capcom 2. But that one doesn’t count either.
Okay, so people that didn’t survive: Bison, Dhalsim, Blanka and Vega. Except for the fact that we aren’t actually sure if Vega is dead or not. But what can I say? Life sucks for you guys.
Finally, there are the people that survived the explosion, but didn’t win: Deejay and Sagat. Apart from the fact that Deejay should not have been on Bison’s team. Neither should he have been consumed with money. And Sagat – come on Wes, you should have more self respect than to take a job like this in the first place!
Oh and of course Fei Long. Who didn’t exist. Apparently.
Yes, this was a God-awful film. But then, Max managed to persuade me to see Streetfighter: The Legend of Chun Li.
No. no. NO. NOOO!!!! What’s going on? Just when I thought that it could not get any worse, it did! How could they actually manage to screw up the Streetfighter film franchise even further? THIS IS NOT STREETFIGHTER! For fuck’s sake. It’s only saving grace is that, if I don’t think of it as a Streetfighter film, and that the names are purely coincidental, I can just about get through it! Continuity? Canon? CHARACTERS?? What’s wrong with you people? No one even looks remotely like they should, Bison dies before the Streetfighter tournament has even fucking begun, and he doesn’t even wear a fucking fucking hat! Suddenly, Streetfighter The Movie looks really, really good. Mortal Kombat looks even better. Streetfighter the Animated Movie? In comparison, it’s absolute Oscar material!
- Galford.
Showing posts with label Streetfighter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Streetfighter. Show all posts
Tuesday, 6 October 2009
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Xbox 360 Obtained – Achievement 10G…
Okay, so I haven’t posted for a long time. This is because… I finally have an Xbox 360!!! YOSHAAA!
I was able to scrape the money together, enough to purchase a next-gen console. I only have a handful of second-hand games for it at the moment, apart from one – Street Fighter 4. Oh yes. Mm mm Mmmm!
It’s funny though, because I often wondered if the 360 would live up to my expectations. Now, they have a Wii at work in the canteen room. From playing on it quite extensively, I knew that my original supposition about not wanting to own one was accurate. It’s novel, it’s different, but it’s stupid. Max has a PS3. I don’t want one of those on principle. The 360, on the other hand is every bit as good as I expected it to be. I was worried for a while that I was becoming an Xbox fanboy, but I don’t think that I would actually die for my console of choice. But I do believe that it has a significant edge over its competition.
I am, however putting off adding my credit card details for Marketplace purchases. It’s not that I don’t trust Microsoft’s security measures; it’s just that I don’t thrust my own. If I put the ability to pay for some of the content without even having to refer back to my credit card, I will be bankrupt by the end of the day. …What? What was that? Street Fighter HD is a third cheaper? For a limited time? Dammit!!
There is no doubt that the other reason I wanted a 360 has also lived up to its reputation. I love Street Fighter 4. But, this does bring me onto my next point…
Seth Ruins Street Fighter 4.
Oh my God. What a fucker. What a way to completely shit on the best game ever. It’s like ordering a chocolate ice cream sundae. It is sublime. Tasty beyond compare, smooth, cool, perfect; until you get to the big ball of dark chocolate at the bottom and discover that it is shit. Actual shit. Unfiltered, straight from the porcelain throne after a good curry shit.
Why sink that low when creating the best of the best? All of the other characters in the game are excellent. Perfectly developed, artistically spot-on and a joy to use. Even wierdos like Rufus are pick-up-and-play characters. But Seth feels like a reject from much lesser fighting games than this. His appearance is awful. His moves suck ass and his fighting style is utter bollocks. He is worse than Rugal, he is worse than Shao Khan. He even manages to make the end-game bosses in Dead or Alive seem well balanced. Trying to unlock Gouken, I was fighting his as Akuma, on very easy. Just wanted an easy run to simply get the job done. But no, after beating everyone else with little to no effort that blue motherfucker pulled out the most piss-poor moves and beat me. Akuma. Very easy. FUCK YOU! I’m not the best player in the world, but I’m better than average, as my online bout statistics show. But it’s like Capcom said ‘Well, we know you have spent years on the various Street Fighter games honing your skills, and we know you can complete SF2 and Alpha on the hardest setting, but fuck that. We are going to show you how shit you really are.’
Fuck Seth. He caused me to destroy one of my pads when I threw it at the wall in disgust. I play the game until I get to him, then I turn it off. I don’t need that.
Fucker.
- Galford.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Penny-Pinching Bastard
Yes, I suppose I am really. I don’t like to admit it, even though I just did… and I don’t like other people agreeing with me, despite the fact that I’m sure most of you did the very instant you read the title.
Basically, it goes like this. I am close to buying an Xbox 360. Very close. However, I was short by an almost considerable sum of money. I was given a cash injection due to yet another birthday, but it was not enough. I have tried to ignore the fact that every single time I express an interest in purchasing said hardware, someone, somewhere, after eating a Toffee Crisp, experiences the red ring of death. This is still the one thing that puts me off more than anything. But, when I weigh that against the prospect of owning Streetfighter 4, it just… doesn’t seem that big a bother, actually. So yes, I am still going to go ahead with it.
I was considering the purchase of a second-hand one to reduce the cost somewhat, but then I became a victim of what I now call the ‘hundred pound trust syndrome’. This is basically, that I have seen a few pre-owned 360’s for sale in various outlets, most of which seem to retail for about £120-£150, given the spec and condition. This is just the wrong side of my budget at the moment. I look on longingly, wondering if it is worth going into my overdraft in order to own one. This, however is tempered by the fact that to also procure Streetfighter 4 and an additional pad would probably push up the cost dangerously to nearer the £200 mark. Way, way out of my current spending budget. So I have put aside a sizeable chunk of my lifespan to finding one that is cheaper. This happened, strangely enough in the same day. Walking through the local town centre, swatting teenagers as I went, I discovered a small electrical store with of all things, a second-hand 360 in the window. As with such things, I did a double take. The pain should wear of eventually, I hope. The price tag badly stuck onto the side of it with sticky-tape stated that it was worth £79. (The Xbox, not the price tag. Obviously. Durrr…) At this point, I looked the white unit up and down. Most of the blanking plates were missing, as was the hard drive – although I did not know if that was so it didn’t get pinched. Even so, alarm bells rang inside, and I thought ‘That’s rather cheap. Too cheap. What’s wrong with it? Is it broken, abused or stolen?’ I backed away from the window. Turned and walked away.
This is the strange thing. I looked for ages to find an Xbox for under £100. When I found one, I didn’t want it, because it seemed too good to be true. Having been burned (literally) by cheap shit gadgets before, I did not want to chance buying something that despite fitting the financial requirement perfectly, would almost undoubtedly leave a bitter taste in the mouth, and me out of pocket when it fucked up. A strange sort of irony, I’m sure you’ll agree.
Time to buy a new one, I think. Time to rob a bank too, I guess…
- Galford.
Basically, it goes like this. I am close to buying an Xbox 360. Very close. However, I was short by an almost considerable sum of money. I was given a cash injection due to yet another birthday, but it was not enough. I have tried to ignore the fact that every single time I express an interest in purchasing said hardware, someone, somewhere, after eating a Toffee Crisp, experiences the red ring of death. This is still the one thing that puts me off more than anything. But, when I weigh that against the prospect of owning Streetfighter 4, it just… doesn’t seem that big a bother, actually. So yes, I am still going to go ahead with it.
I was considering the purchase of a second-hand one to reduce the cost somewhat, but then I became a victim of what I now call the ‘hundred pound trust syndrome’. This is basically, that I have seen a few pre-owned 360’s for sale in various outlets, most of which seem to retail for about £120-£150, given the spec and condition. This is just the wrong side of my budget at the moment. I look on longingly, wondering if it is worth going into my overdraft in order to own one. This, however is tempered by the fact that to also procure Streetfighter 4 and an additional pad would probably push up the cost dangerously to nearer the £200 mark. Way, way out of my current spending budget. So I have put aside a sizeable chunk of my lifespan to finding one that is cheaper. This happened, strangely enough in the same day. Walking through the local town centre, swatting teenagers as I went, I discovered a small electrical store with of all things, a second-hand 360 in the window. As with such things, I did a double take. The pain should wear of eventually, I hope. The price tag badly stuck onto the side of it with sticky-tape stated that it was worth £79. (The Xbox, not the price tag. Obviously. Durrr…) At this point, I looked the white unit up and down. Most of the blanking plates were missing, as was the hard drive – although I did not know if that was so it didn’t get pinched. Even so, alarm bells rang inside, and I thought ‘That’s rather cheap. Too cheap. What’s wrong with it? Is it broken, abused or stolen?’ I backed away from the window. Turned and walked away.
This is the strange thing. I looked for ages to find an Xbox for under £100. When I found one, I didn’t want it, because it seemed too good to be true. Having been burned (literally) by cheap shit gadgets before, I did not want to chance buying something that despite fitting the financial requirement perfectly, would almost undoubtedly leave a bitter taste in the mouth, and me out of pocket when it fucked up. A strange sort of irony, I’m sure you’ll agree.
Time to buy a new one, I think. Time to rob a bank too, I guess…
- Galford.
Thursday, 25 September 2008
A Moment of Silence, Pray…
Recently, we lost a friend. A good friend. A friend of many years. A friend that has had a fond mention within the hallowed sanctum that is BucketMonkey more than once.
That friend was Weston Super Mare Pier.
Now, for those of you who frequent BBC news, or have been anywhere near there recently will have known about this for some time. But for everyone else, Weston Pier was severely ravaged by fire recently.
I am writing about it now because I paid Weston a visit a few days ago to see the horror for myself. As I stood there, I felt like I was standing beside someone flat-lining in a hospital bed. It was heart-breaking.
The Pier was just over 100 years old, and had seen many big development projects over the years. Apparently, it was meant to be a landing port for steamers, but due to choppy tides, it was converted into a full entertainment venue instead. Stretching 2,000 metres out into the sea, it had everything from a big kid’s fun house to a ferris wheel housed within.
But, enough of all that crap. It was also the home to many, many a classic and modern arcade game. I spent a lot of my youth there, sometimes frequenting it’s heavenly eden every weekend… Not a bad feat considering I live over an hour’s drive away and… couldn’t drive. Therefore, due to my complete and utter hatred for public transport, my unbelievably tolerant parents spent a lot of time there too. Weston Pier quite often had the latest games on there – it was the location where I played such games as Final Fight, Daytona USA, Ridge Racer, StreetFighter 2, Tekken and Virtua Fighter for the first time. It was also the place to go where you could find classic old games such as Operation Thunderbolt and Commando tucked away in hitherto forgotten corners with trademark flakey controllers and phosphor-burned screens. One of the few places that had not succumbed to the rob-them-completely-blind concept that is ticket redemption games. Bliss.
But now all that has gone. I have heard that there are already plans to resurrect this portal to the past, present and future – but I doubt that it will ever be as awe-inspiring as it once was.
A two minute’s silence for the loss of an icon for many a generation. Long live WSMP!
- Galford
That friend was Weston Super Mare Pier.
Now, for those of you who frequent BBC news, or have been anywhere near there recently will have known about this for some time. But for everyone else, Weston Pier was severely ravaged by fire recently.
I am writing about it now because I paid Weston a visit a few days ago to see the horror for myself. As I stood there, I felt like I was standing beside someone flat-lining in a hospital bed. It was heart-breaking.
The Pier was just over 100 years old, and had seen many big development projects over the years. Apparently, it was meant to be a landing port for steamers, but due to choppy tides, it was converted into a full entertainment venue instead. Stretching 2,000 metres out into the sea, it had everything from a big kid’s fun house to a ferris wheel housed within.
But, enough of all that crap. It was also the home to many, many a classic and modern arcade game. I spent a lot of my youth there, sometimes frequenting it’s heavenly eden every weekend… Not a bad feat considering I live over an hour’s drive away and… couldn’t drive. Therefore, due to my complete and utter hatred for public transport, my unbelievably tolerant parents spent a lot of time there too. Weston Pier quite often had the latest games on there – it was the location where I played such games as Final Fight, Daytona USA, Ridge Racer, StreetFighter 2, Tekken and Virtua Fighter for the first time. It was also the place to go where you could find classic old games such as Operation Thunderbolt and Commando tucked away in hitherto forgotten corners with trademark flakey controllers and phosphor-burned screens. One of the few places that had not succumbed to the rob-them-completely-blind concept that is ticket redemption games. Bliss.
But now all that has gone. I have heard that there are already plans to resurrect this portal to the past, present and future – but I doubt that it will ever be as awe-inspiring as it once was.
A two minute’s silence for the loss of an icon for many a generation. Long live WSMP!
- Galford
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