tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90421356247117646612024-03-08T09:52:46.991-08:00Bucketmonkey - You figure it out!Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-71722906194036973882009-11-10T03:06:00.000-08:002009-11-10T03:07:06.037-08:00Feeling a bit of a…Okay, so Max was round last night. He had done his usual thing – gone out and bought Dead or Alive 4 on budget for the Xbox 360. Nothing unusual there, apart from the fact that Max does not own a 360. He has a 360 gamepad, and 2 games. But no 360. He is of the PS3 camp, usually natural enemies of me. He buys them purely to bring round and play on my system. This is quite normal for Max, and not the first time he had done it. But I digress…<br /><br />Now, DOA4 is nothing new. It has been out for a while, and I have not purchased it. I am still a big fan of beat’em ups, but there are those that I have avoided, usually on principle. I don’t like Tekken. Never have, never will. I have never been a big fan of DOA4, because I think that the gameplay is fatally flawed, and the AI that the programmers have sadistically implemented is neither fair, or logical. Now there are games that defy logic. Usually with things like Nitrous Oxide refilling itself, or suspension that does not break even after the car has dropped over two hundred feet from the road. Or the ability to withstand an entire clip of machine gun ammo, and still being able to sprint and fist-fight. Throwing fireballs from bare hands and so on. But when the computer can repel your attack with a counter, and then unleash a nine-hit combo with a multi-throw tacked onto the end, that is enough to make me have to retrieve the gamepad from a smashed TV screen. But I digress again…<br /><br />I have never really liked DOA, unless I am playing against another player. Another player of comparable ability. Like Max. Max, in turn, likes being the female characters. He likes being the female characters in any game, but he particularly likes DOA because he can turn the ‘Boob-Slider’ right up to 99 and get very distracted. He also likes purple hair. This might also explain why I am married and he is not.<br /><br />We were playing away, making various grunting noises and light hearted bad language whenever a counter actually worked when the wife walked in.<br /><br />‘What is wrong with the women’s tits?’ She asked.<br />I stopped to consider my answer, while Max simply burst into hysterical (if somewhat embarrassed) laughter.<br />‘It is Max’s preference’ I replied, carefully.<br />‘Well I don’t think it’s fair,’ she responded. ‘If that is the case with the girls, then why don’t the men’s lunchboxes jiggle too?’<br /><br />She left. Max and I looked at each other, with a small look of thought, and a large expression of disgust on our faces. Why on Earth would we want to see that in a game? Would girls even buy a game where the male protagonist’s genitalia animated as much as the females? Would that not make it a very viable target during the fracas?<br /><br />I have never really thought that this could be a concern. Okay, normally it is a funny addition, and we all know that sex sells. But I didn’t really consider that this sort of game would even appeal to the lady folk.<br /><br />Ever since then, my wife has found it amusing to try to emulate the jiggling every time the game is mentioned. Which of course, is a tremendous plus-point for me. J<br /><br />Oh my God. I used a smiley in my post. That is very worrying.<br /><br />- GalfordBucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-70399578326196418212009-10-06T15:09:00.002-07:002009-10-06T15:10:37.771-07:00Just when you thought…Okay, so when does the bad become good? When something even worse comes along afterwards…<br /><br />I recently re-watched the Nostalgia Critic’s review of Streetfighter The Movie. He was, of course spot-on with his outlook of the whole shambles. However, after watching that, I thought I would watch the Streetfighter film once again. Just for old time’s sake. Yes, there was a time I thought it was good. I was not old enough to know better!<br /><br />Every time I see it, I love drawing the same conclusion. I will dispense this revelation now.<br /><br />So, the winners – who effectively ‘complete’ the film/game are: Guile, Chun Li, Cammy, Ken, Ryu, Zangief, E. Honda, T. Hawk, Balrog and Captain Sawada. Apart from the fact that Balrog should be on Bison’s side. And Zangief was on Bison’s side in the film. And Captain Sawada has never been in the fucking game. Streetfighter The Movie The Game doesn’t count.<br /><br />I have never been able to complete any Streetfighter game currently available with that many people simultaneously. Well, technically I came close with Marvel Vs Capcom 2. But that one doesn’t count either.<br /><br />Okay, so people that didn’t survive: Bison, Dhalsim, Blanka and Vega. Except for the fact that we aren’t actually sure if Vega is dead or not. But what can I say? Life sucks for you guys.<br /><br />Finally, there are the people that survived the explosion, but didn’t win: Deejay and Sagat. Apart from the fact that Deejay should not have been on Bison’s team. Neither should he have been consumed with money. And Sagat – come on Wes, you should have more self respect than to take a job like this in the first place!<br /><br />Oh and of course Fei Long. Who didn’t exist. Apparently.<br /><br />Yes, this was a God-awful film. But then, Max managed to persuade me to see Streetfighter: The Legend of Chun Li.<br /><br />No. no. NO. NOOO!!!! What’s going on? Just when I thought that it could not get any worse, it did! How could they actually manage to screw up the Streetfighter film franchise even further? THIS IS NOT STREETFIGHTER! For fuck’s sake. It’s only saving grace is that, if I don’t think of it as a Streetfighter film, and that the names are purely coincidental, I can just about get through it! Continuity? Canon? CHARACTERS?? What’s wrong with you people? No one even looks remotely like they should, Bison dies before the Streetfighter tournament has even fucking begun, and he doesn’t even wear a fucking fucking hat! Suddenly, Streetfighter The Movie looks really, really good. Mortal Kombat looks even better. Streetfighter the Animated Movie? In comparison, it’s absolute Oscar material!<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-24488571960926344322009-08-17T06:36:00.000-07:002009-08-17T06:37:24.228-07:00Make a deal with the Devil, or buy Games from GOD?Okay, so there’s nothing wrong with buying something online. Virtual shops are all well and good. However, I am not very convinced when it comes to buying virtual products. I have never, and will never purchase music through Itunes. Apart from the obvious total and utter hatred and contempt for Apple, I much prefer to have a physical copy of the artifacts that I own.<br /><br />This for me then, is where Microsoft’s Games On Demand falls on it’s face.<br /><br />Yes, it’s all well and good being able to buy games usually only available off the shelf online, and download it straight to your 360, but why? They say that it takes a few hours for the four to six gig games to arrive. In that time, I could’ve popped down to Gamestation, or CEX and… bought it. Wait just a few hours longer, and Amazon will deliver it to my door. Also, I have a 60Gb Xbox premium edition. That means 10 games, and my hard disk is full. If I wanted to have more games, I would have to go into a shop, and purchase a bigger hard disk. Or, I could… you know… buy the games instead. What a waste of time!<br /><br />Not only this, but at time of writing all the games available through GOD (lord help me!) are all £19.99. Burnout Paradise is available second-hand from CEX for £15, less than 100 yards from where I work! Yes, I know it’s used, but it’s still a physical copy of the game – more than you get from GOD…<br /><br />This system is in its infancy. Thankfully. Because at the moment, it is fatally flawed. If the games were being sold for like £5, seeing as there is no manufacturing process required, I would be much more interested. As it stands, right now I am still happy to stretch my legs and get the wife to go buy me my next game.<br /><br />Thanks Darling. Love you!<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-53315951431409384862009-06-28T02:19:00.000-07:002009-06-28T02:22:33.374-07:00Xbox 360 Obtained – Achievement 10G…<p>Okay, so I haven’t posted for a long time. This is because… I finally have an Xbox 360!!! YOSHAAA!<br /><br />I was able to scrape the money together, enough to purchase a next-gen console. I only have a handful of second-hand games for it at the moment, apart from one – Street Fighter 4. Oh yes. Mm mm Mmmm!<br /><br />It’s funny though, because I often wondered if the 360 would live up to my expectations. Now, they have a Wii at work in the canteen room. From playing on it quite extensively, I knew that my original supposition about not wanting to own one was accurate. It’s novel, it’s different, but it’s stupid. Max has a PS3. I don’t want one of those on principle. The 360, on the other hand is every bit as good as I expected it to be. I was worried for a while that I was becoming an Xbox fanboy, but I don’t think that I would actually die for my console of choice. But I do believe that it has a significant edge over its competition.<br /><br />I am, however putting off adding my credit card details for Marketplace purchases. It’s not that I don’t trust Microsoft’s security measures; it’s just that I don’t thrust my own. If I put the ability to pay for some of the content without even having to refer back to my credit card, I will be bankrupt by the end of the day. …What? What was that? Street Fighter HD is a third cheaper? For a limited time? Dammit!!<br /><br />There is no doubt that the other reason I wanted a 360 has also lived up to its reputation. I love Street Fighter 4. But, this does bring me onto my next point…<br /><br />Seth Ruins Street Fighter 4.<br /><br />Oh my God. What a fucker. What a way to completely shit on the best game ever. It’s like ordering a chocolate ice cream sundae. It is sublime. Tasty beyond compare, smooth, cool, perfect; until you get to the big ball of dark chocolate at the bottom and discover that it is shit. Actual shit. Unfiltered, straight from the porcelain throne after a good curry shit.<br /><br />Why sink that low when creating the best of the best? All of the other characters in the game are excellent. Perfectly developed, artistically spot-on and a joy to use. Even wierdos like Rufus are pick-up-and-play characters. But Seth feels like a reject from much lesser fighting games than this. His appearance is awful. His moves suck ass and his fighting style is utter bollocks. He is worse than Rugal, he is worse than Shao Khan. He even manages to make the end-game bosses in Dead or Alive seem well balanced. Trying to unlock Gouken, I was fighting his as Akuma, on very easy. Just wanted an easy run to simply get the job done. But no, after beating everyone else with little to no effort that blue motherfucker pulled out the most piss-poor moves and beat me. Akuma. Very easy. FUCK YOU! I’m not the best player in the world, but I’m better than average, as my online bout statistics show. But it’s like Capcom said ‘Well, we know you have spent years on the various Street Fighter games honing your skills, and we know you can complete SF2 and Alpha on the hardest setting, but fuck that. We are going to show you how shit you really are.’<br /><br />Fuck Seth. He caused me to destroy one of my pads when I threw it at the wall in disgust. I play the game until I get to him, then I turn it off. I don’t need that.<br /><br />Fucker.<br /><br />- Galford.</p>Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-1379566881457299352009-04-27T06:20:00.000-07:002009-04-27T06:21:01.299-07:00SentimentechnologyWhy is it, I always get attached to technology that I invariably collect during the course of my life? I am still no closer to my 360, in fact – truth be known, I am getting further away. This is a double blow considering that nearly fifty percent of my birthday fund has gone on trivialities, leaving the once proud amount rather waning. Still, I will not be discouraged! I know, I can sell things on eBay. How about my rather considerable (considerably daft, more like!) collection of phones from days gone by? Well, I could, but… they either are not worth enough to bother going through the rigmarole of listing them, or they are still just too useful! Okay, how about my amassed defunct laptops? Again, I could – but they may still be useful, old games and programs that I can’t be bothered to upgrade or make compatible that lurk around the grotty crags of my office may once again be pressed into usefulness, either out of necessity, or boredom. Right. Old toys? Hmm… but they remind me too much of my youth. A time in my life that is getting further away by the day! Besides, my darling three year old Son has found a boxful, and as a result, are now broken and completely worthless. My old 1:18 scale car collection? I…took ages to get them all together. I don’t want to have to reverse my efforts, losing money hand-over-fist in the process. That leaves… Internal organs. Any of those I’m not using?<br /><br />It comes to something when I would rather sacrifice a section of my own internal workings that part with a piece of what is rapidly becoming retro technology. I love old gadgets and the like, mostly because they are the genesis which has spring-boarded us to where we are now in the modern day. But then, what would I be exchanging them for? New technology! Hmm… New technology, old technology. New technology, old technology. New technology, old technology. New technology, old technology. New technology, old technology… You know – the more you say it, the less it helps!!<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-27916408889368124732009-04-08T09:37:00.000-07:002009-04-08T09:38:43.081-07:00Penny-Pinching BastardYes, I suppose I am really. I don’t like to admit it, even though I just did… and I don’t like other people agreeing with me, despite the fact that I’m sure most of you did the very instant you read the title.<br /><br />Basically, it goes like this. I am close to buying an Xbox 360. Very close. However, I was short by an almost considerable sum of money. I was given a cash injection due to yet another birthday, but it was not enough. I have tried to ignore the fact that every single time I express an interest in purchasing said hardware, someone, somewhere, after eating a Toffee Crisp, experiences the red ring of death. This is still the one thing that puts me off more than anything. But, when I weigh that against the prospect of owning Streetfighter 4, it just… doesn’t seem that big a bother, actually. So yes, I am still going to go ahead with it.<br /><br />I was considering the purchase of a second-hand one to reduce the cost somewhat, but then I became a victim of what I now call the ‘hundred pound trust syndrome’. This is basically, that I have seen a few pre-owned 360’s for sale in various outlets, most of which seem to retail for about £120-£150, given the spec and condition. This is just the wrong side of my budget at the moment. I look on longingly, wondering if it is worth going into my overdraft in order to own one. This, however is tempered by the fact that to also procure Streetfighter 4 and an additional pad would probably push up the cost dangerously to nearer the £200 mark. Way, way out of my current spending budget. So I have put aside a sizeable chunk of my lifespan to finding one that is cheaper. This happened, strangely enough in the same day. Walking through the local town centre, swatting teenagers as I went, I discovered a small electrical store with of all things, a second-hand 360 in the window. As with such things, I did a double take. The pain should wear of eventually, I hope. The price tag badly stuck onto the side of it with sticky-tape stated that it was worth £79. (The Xbox, not the price tag. Obviously. Durrr…) At this point, I looked the white unit up and down. Most of the blanking plates were missing, as was the hard drive – although I did not know if that was so it didn’t get pinched. Even so, alarm bells rang inside, and I thought ‘That’s rather cheap. Too cheap. What’s wrong with it? Is it broken, abused or stolen?’ I backed away from the window. Turned and walked away.<br /><br />This is the strange thing. I looked for ages to find an Xbox for under £100. When I found one, I didn’t want it, because it seemed too good to be true. Having been burned (literally) by cheap shit gadgets before, I did not want to chance buying something that despite fitting the financial requirement perfectly, would almost undoubtedly leave a bitter taste in the mouth, and me out of pocket when it fucked up. A strange sort of irony, I’m sure you’ll agree.<br /><br />Time to buy a new one, I think. Time to rob a bank too, I guess…<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-14594336673656197192009-03-24T04:41:00.000-07:002009-03-24T04:43:07.774-07:00Sonic Rocket-Launcher. Okay, come on… think about it…Okay, so the more astute of you will realise that I am talking about Sonic Chronicles – The Dark Brotherhood on the DS. An RPG that I procured recently. I think it’s fair to say that I have never given up hope on the round blue spiky one. I know that most of the games he features in as of late have been rubbish, but each time I see a new one released, I will still feel compelled to part with cash for it. I will tell myself repeatedly in my head that I will like it regardless. Maybe that’s why Sonic is still around after all this time…<br /><br />I think it’s fair to say that SC-TDB (ugh) falls into the same pitfall as a lot of other Sonic games, like Sonic 3D or Sonic R – It’s just not fast. I wouldn’t even say not fast enough, just… <em>not fast</em>. At all. There are bits and pieces in there that echo the Sonic days of old, like spin-dashing round loop-the-loop set pieces, but I can honestly say that this reminds me too much of another game. And for once, it’s <em>not</em> Mystaria.<br /><br />If you look at all the elements, the 3D Characters on a drawn background, the strange quick-time events, the turn-based combat strategy sections, the cheesy storyline… It is basically, an anthropomorphic Final Fantasy 7.<br /><br />The problem with Final Fantasy 7 is though, I never completed it. It was a cursed game. Not because I lacked the ability to play it, as I own both the PC and Playstation versions of it. But The savegames always just… evaporated. Disappeared. Vamoosed. Vanished. Ceased to be… and for some of these reasons, I thought that playing such a game would be doomed to failure, and that I should not really invest that much time on it. However, I am still trying to decide that, after nearly four and a half hours of almost constant play…<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-25820590773264356142009-03-13T02:55:00.000-07:002009-03-13T02:56:36.443-07:00Streetfighter 4… It’s a bit like Mystaria…Okay, so it’s not. But that’s a tradition!<br /><br />Zig graced my place of residence twice over the last week, I think that’s some kind of record… He brought round his Xbox 360 in the vague hope of persuading me to buy one. Suffice to say, he completely succeeded. We played games like Project Gotham 4, Flat Out, Virt-oh Sod it. We played Streetfighter 4. And more Streetfigher 4. And after that, we played some more Streetfighter 4. We did try playing some other games, but these very quickly became a five minute fantasy before returning to the pinnacle of all things fisticuff.<br /><br />This is it. A complete return to my youth. Everything in my life has changed over the last 5 years. I got married, moved house, had kids. My parents moved house. Changed my job. Job changed premises. Changed my car. Everything I have come to know as constants have gone. Except for one. The existence of Streetfighter games and the chance for the two of us to sit down and have a night of challenge. It really is more addictive than anything else I can think of. When the fateful time came, and Zig had to head back home, I was really sad. I wanted it to continue. To prolong the experience. For years, preferably. It leaves me yearning for the next time.<br /><br />I might actually get around to reviewing it at some point. But in the meantime…<br /><br />I WILL get an Xbox 360!!<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-66930487319064457412009-02-27T04:53:00.000-08:002009-02-27T04:59:16.397-08:00Careless Talk Costs Sanity...Sometimes, Zig and I talk. We really do! Novel, I know. I just thought it may prove insightful for you to see the sorts of conversations we have. Because we are nuts...<br /><br />Galford: Hey ho, you there?<br />Zigganoid: yup. hows u<br />Galford: I have no idea<br />Galford: How is you?<br />Zigganoid: you should ask yourself. I am not too bad, I have street fighter 4 and that makes my face smile<br />Galford: Nice. I am seriously considering a 360 now<br />Galford: I mean SERIOUSLY<br />Galford: is it funkadelic?<br />Zigganoid: get one, online works beautifully and we could finally fight regularly again<br />Zigganoid: It just might be the best one yet<br />Galford: oh, for the times gone by!<br />Galford: It looks absolutely awesome<br />Zigganoid: they have sorted the counter system out, so none of that impossioble parrying nonsense from sf3<br />Zigganoid: The new characters are actually really good, even fatboy Rufus<br />Galford: That was arse. Unless you are Daigo<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Galford: What characters are actually in it?<br />Zigganoid: ken<br />Zigganoid: ryu<br />Zigganoid: dhalsim<br />Zigganoid: chinli<br />Zigganoid: zangief<br />Zigganoid: ehonda<br />Zigganoid: bison<br />Zigganoid: sagat<br />Zigganoid: balrog<br />Zigganoid: vega<br />Zigganoid: fei long<br />Zigganoid: cammy<br />Zigganoid: sakura<br />Zigganoid: blanka<br />Zigganoid: er<br />Galford: Excellent, so it's a proper old-school Streetfighter<br />Zigganoid: yup sf2 cast plus a few<br />Zigganoid: oh yeah rose<br />Galford: I must get 360, there are a lot of games on it that I really want now<br />Zigganoid: akuma<br />Zigganoid: whats ryu's master called<br />Galford: My soul is longing for a good bit of chop-socky<br />Galford: gouki<br />Zigganoid: yep him<br />Galford: Funky!<br />Zigganoid: 4 new guys<br />Galford: Reasons for a 360:<br /><br /> Virtua Fighter 5<br /> Burnout Paradise<br /> GTA4<br /> StreetFighter 4<br />Galford: There are more, but I think those alone are enough<br />Galford: I don't use my kidneys, I could sell those<br />Zigganoid: The orange box is awesome<br />Zigganoid: you might be best to keep one<br />Galford: and my liver, and my lungs, and my brain<br />Galford: ...but my junk stays!<br />Zigganoid: you have a brain? thats being greedy<br />Zigganoid: I now have 35 games on the 360, not including downloaded. I just cant stop<br />Galford: Only half of one, really<br />Galford: Mmmm<br />Zigganoid: it am the new dreamcast<br />Galford: I was playing on my DC last night...<br />Zigganoid: oh yeah and the new final fantasy is exclusive to 360 which means I can laugh at ps3 owners<br />Galford: my old life is gone<br />Galford: My parents move house today<br />Zigganoid: where to<br />Galford: (sob)<br />Galford: They are going to stay in Crowle with friends for a bit, but they want to move to Wales!<br />Zigganoid: I broke a door in that house and suplexed you onto cushions. Wales is dumb<br />Galford: Yah! Those were the days! That door still doesn't sound right...!<br />Zigganoid: i still dont sound right<br />Galford: True. Your mouth is too far to the left<br />Zigganoid: I am coming up in a week or so. Maybe we can get together for a bit<br />Galford: ...and you twisted your neck<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Zigganoid: see above<br />Zigganoid: visit<br />Galford: Cool, just give me warning this time!<br />Galford: Oh, you just did<br />Zigganoid: well we are coming next weekend and probably staying till about tues or wed<br />Galford: Right, okay, I shall attempt to make a f*ckoff great hole in my schedule<br />Zigganoid: cool, shall i bring 360 and sf4?<br />Galford: No<br />Galford: sorry, I meant yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesYESYESYESYES<br />Zigganoid: oh alright then, as long as I can say "fucky"<br />Galford: I think that should be said at the start of every super-move...<br />Zigganoid: super-fucky-hyper-bunny-mode<br />Zigganoid: haha, mega cd<br />Galford: I still have one in the loft, not sure it works though<br />Zigganoid: mine broke, but the hacked xbox1 can be pursuaded to play mega cd games<br />Zigganoid: and pong<br />Zigganoid: and sam fox strip poker<br />Galford: Hahaha<br />Galford: My house is full<br />Zigganoid: and the banjo<br />Galford: with the movement of my parents, All my stuff has come home to roost<br />Galford: my God, I've got some shit<br />Zigganoid: old shit+ebay=360<br />Zigganoid: ££$$££Kachingggg$$$££££<br />Galford: Yerrs<br />Galford: I have a C64 with lots of games<br />Zigganoid: me too<br />Galford: Kinda like a 360,<br />Zigganoid: I have ninja scooter simulator<br />Galford: apart from the fact it's nothing like a 360<br />Zigganoid: bit like mystaria<br />Galford: YAY<br />Galford: Mystaria is fucky<br />Zigganoid: I have hungry horace<br />Galford: I have the Mystaria soundtrack on my MP3 player<br />Galford: it's...<br />Galford: ...a bit like Mystaria<br />Zigganoid: I'm a bit like mystaria<br />Zigganoid: so are you<br />Zigganoid: and sheila easton<br />Zigganoid: ....who's she?<br />Zigganoid: who am i<br />Galford: Don't know. Don't want to know<br />Zigganoid: what is mystaria<br />Zigganoid: whats going on and is there any way of stopping it?<br />Zigganoid: sf4 is a bit like mystaria<br />Galford: (Tangent) have you seen GameDamage?<br />Zigganoid: so is pong<br />Zigganoid: nope, had no internet for a week, which isnt fucky<br />Galford: Ugh, how can anyone survive without Internet?<br />Galford: Internet is good for you. Cures stress, fatigue, Gout, Missing Bimbs and baldness<br />Zigganoid: I had to cut up magazines and flash cutouts in front of my face whlie jerking off into a waste paper bin, while singing about how everything and everyone everywhere is a bit like mystaria<br />Zigganoid: jerking off is a bit like mystaria<br />Zigganoid: ........if you do it right<br />Galford: Yup. when you get that twinkling feeling<br />Zigganoid: I like to level up<br />Galford: ...and you end up going a Phoenix sword counter<br />Zigganoid: feel that mana rising<br />Zigganoid: and then splunge blat ploogie.........splut<br />Galford: consume your enemies in your aura<br />Zigganoid: wipe it on the curtains<br />Galford: and any allies who were dumb enough to stand in the way<br />Galford: splut<br />Zigganoid: freindly fire.....very friendly fire<br />Zigganoid: and a free shampoo<br />Galford: and set<br />Galford: full cream milk<br />Zigganoid: shampoo horn<br />Galford: Speaking of talking shit,<br />Galford: or talking of speaking shit<br />Galford: you are somewhat lacking on the blog front..<br />Zigganoid: Yup, I know and there is so much to write about.<br />Galford: I assume you have lost all your fingers and are typing with your grollies at the moment<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Galford: ...and we are back to Pong<br />Zigganoid: I will be back to it very soon<br />Zigganoid: halo 3 map downloaded, yay I can shoot americans<br />Galford: ...and how's the missus? (blah blah)<br />Zigganoid: a bit saucy (blah blah)<br />Zigganoid: hows yours? (blah blah)<br />Galford: hotter than a June bride in a feather bed (blah blah)<br />Zigganoid: I feel like drinking a gallon of turpentine and pissing on a brush fire<br />Galford: Are you in gear yet? Richard?<br />Zigganoid: this race is wet and wild....like me<br />Galford: (snort) okay, I'm ready now<br />Zigganoid: that game was the greatest....and only a bit like mystaria<br />Galford: yup. the shit<br />Galford: big fucky racing<br />Zigganoid: played it a while ago and its awful now.....still love it though<br />Galford: indeed, that's it's allure<br />Galford: it would be crap if it was great<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Galford: but it's the fact that it's crap that makes it great<br />Galford: (confused)<br />Zigganoid: hmmmm, is my head o straight?<br />Galford: it's a micron too high<br />Zigganoid: btw, both penny arcade games are on xbox live arcade<br />Zigganoid: they are funnnnnnny<br />Zigganoid: but a bit pricey<br />Galford: They have awesome names<br />Zigganoid: they do<br />Galford: ...and they really, really are...<br />Galford: ...a bit like Mystaria<br />Zigganoid: and believe it or not they genuinaly are a bit like mystaria......and monkey island<br />Zigganoid: hahahahhaa<br />Galford: Haha, beat ya<br />Galford: with a stick<br />Zigganoid: you wish<br />Galford: a brown, sticky stick<br />Zigganoid: was it the wet end<br />Zigganoid: splut....eeeeeuuuuuurgrrrrggggghhhhh<br />Galford: with a Dog attached to the end by it's teeth<br />Zigganoid: that aint my belly button......that aint my finger neither<br />Galford: dadadadadadada<br />Galford: uuuurrrrgh ... ngh, hrrgh<br />Galford: blat<br />Zigganoid: get the lead out<br />Galford: excuse me while I clean that up<br />Zigganoid: why wasnt there a big red racing 2<br />Galford: ...because it would either be awesome, because it's more crapness<br />Galford: ...or crap, because they would try to improve it<br />Zigganoid: new carmageddon is suppsedly heading to 360, I may have to get some cream proof undeies<br />Galford: I reckon we should make a sub-blog of these conversations<br />Zigganoid: epyt t'nac i<br />Galford: I played that on the N64. It was arse<br />Zigganoid: you are right<br />Galford: and nothing like Mystaria<br />Zigganoid: bastards<br />Zigganoid: and they killed kenny<br />Galford: utter utter bastards<br />Galford: I wanted to kill Kenny<br />Zigganoid: did u ever play carma on the gba?<br />Zigganoid: uuuuurrrrrrrrgggggghhhh<br />Galford: Hahaha... no<br />Zigganoid: why did they even think it was possible<br />Zigganoid: and its sort of in 3d<br />Galford: Becuase they are monumental fuckwits<br />Zigganoid: they did sega rally as well, it was like a toasted turd<br />Galford: They made GTA3 for the GBA. It was basically...<br />Galford: GTA1!<br />Zigganoid: While they are at it I think they should bring out halo 4 for the bbc micro while they are at it<br />Galford: No, it would simply be too good<br />Zigganoid: or mystaria for the pocket calculator<br />Galford: 8008135<br />Zigganoid: or sims on mobile phones.....ah shit they did.....about 70 times. bastards<br />Galford: That was totally arse. They bring out the worst games of all times, chew up all your phone's storage space, so you can play shit and not even take pictures of Ronnie Corbett. Despickable<br />Zigganoid: clockwork tin plate late 20's grand theft auto with eagle eye action.<br />Zigganoid: or pokemon carved out of rock<br />Galford: They have those in Japan<br />Galford: I think they should bring out SF4 on an abacus<br />Zigganoid: handy pocket fucking bowling alley<br />Zigganoid: hahaha<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Galford: I want to play Test Drive Unlimited on a piece of string!!<br />Zigganoid: i want to play super mario galaxy on an atom<br />Zigganoid: worms with real worms<br />Galford: Haha, that woudl rock<br />Zigganoid: snakes and ladders with real snakes and ladders<br />Galford: I want to tie 3 tonnes of semtex to Earthworm Jim<br />Zigganoid: and interactive porn with a real lady<br />Zigganoid: erm, hang on<br />Zigganoid: thats a bit too much like mystaria<br />Galford: Naah. That's overrated<br />Galford: (like fuckery)<br />Zigganoid: haha, we talk bot-rot<br />Galford: It's the bast way to spend the time<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Galford: bast?<br />Galford: hmmm<br />Zigganoid: haha you type wearing boxing gloves<br />Zigganoid: on your eyes<br />Zigganoid: lets play props<br />Zigganoid: bif, bop bleeeeep<br />Galford: your left nostril<br />Zigganoid: wrong it was my right<br />Zigganoid: or ziggy<br />Galford: Haha, do you know what's funny?<br />Zigganoid: mystaria?<br />Galford: apart from getting your testicles injected with Nitrous Oxide<br />Galford: Which I haven't (I don't think?)<br />Zigganoid: nope, i think thats the funniest thing i did yesterday<br />Galford: I occasionally have a tourets-style outburst of talking bot-rot to my computer screen<br />Zigganoid: so you should<br />Galford: Em rushed in, fearing the worst, looked at me and said 'Oh, it's just you.'<br />Galford: hahahahaha<br />Galford: caught bot-rotting<br />Zigganoid: If your folks are moving to wales (baaaaa), then you shopuld move here<br />Galford: it's more fun than being caught rubbing one out<br />Zigganoid: shopuld????<br />Galford: apparently<br />Galford: I would move to Wales, but there's a problem<br />Zigganoid: its welsh<br />Galford: It's shit<br />Zigganoid: yup<br />Galford: yuo<br />Galford: yup<br />Galford: FUCKY!!<br />Zigganoid: have you bought a 360 yet?<br />Galford: My fingers think they are pork scratchings with atrophy<br />Zigganoid: how about now?<br />Zigganoid: now?<br />Zigganoid: how about now?<br />Zigganoid: hmmmm?<br />Galford: Yes<br />Galford: No.<br />Galford: BOLLOCKS<br />Zigganoid: woohoo<br />Zigganoid: oh bolloc<br />Galford: I thought I had then<br />Galford: but I was wrong. It's just my leg.<br />Zigganoid: damn, did you get confused between buying a 360 and scratching your arse<br />Zigganoid: bugger<br />Zigganoid: cant type fast enbnough<br />Zigganoid: wow new word<br />Galford: cool, give it a meaning<br />Galford: I have an idea<br />Zigganoid: it means somethng a bit like mystaria<br />Galford: let's come up with a dictionary of meanings for mis-spelt words<br />Zigganoid: everything means a bit like mystaria except for hlelo which means nothing like mystaria and is therefore a swear word<br />Galford: I think we should call it the conplete concise dictionayr<br />Galford: hahaha<br />Zigganoid: the dyslexics guide to pslenigs<br />Galford: the 'conplete' was a legitimate mistype<br />Zigganoid: haha you are dumb for real<br />Zigganoid: fucky<br />Galford: no, I am dmub<br />Zigganoid: I set fire to your science book<br />Galford: Yay<br />Galford: did it burn with green flame?<br />Zigganoid: ninja flipbooks<br />Galford: I found all those in my follk's loft<br />Galford: Mmmm<br />Zigganoid: my ass gas burns with a green flame<br />Galford: are you the green hornet?<br />Zigganoid: i am the blue rasperry<br />Zigganoid: you are the eggman coo coo kachoo<br />Galford: I am the puce flipflop<br />Zigganoid: I am the bringer of fluids<br />Zigganoid: you are the spiller of seed<br />Galford: you are a fluid ounce<br />Zigganoid: will is the face full of dandelions<br />Galford: I have an ear of corn<br />Zigganoid: I have a nose for music<br />Galford: I have a good ear for music.<br />Zigganoid: you have a face for radio<br />Galford: the rest of me, however is completely rotten<br />Zigganoid: my knee caps are burbbery<br />Galford: Hahaha, you have chavvy calves<br />Zigganoid: My eye lids came from dustbins<br />Galford: I love these conversations. They bring me back to a decent level of surreality<br />Zigganoid: true, you need to excersise your lunatic side or it deserts you and you become (shudder) normal<br />Galford: reality sucks like a perverted vacuum cleaner<br />Galford: I had an epiphany the other day<br />Galford: tasted fucking awful<br />Zigganoid: yup, speaking of which work is looning so I must go soon, but at least I get to ask ladies about their periods<br />Zigganoid: cheesy<br />Galford: one last anecdote<br />Galford: I went into CEX and saw my XPS laptop, my Acer netbook, and my gay green DS on the shelf side by side<br />Galford: and I thought FUCKY!<br />Galford: Em's selling my shit!<br />Zigganoid: yup, do you have a good ds now<br />Galford: No, it's still gay green<br />Galford: ....but when did that become the flagship colour??<br />Galford: see? TWO question marks!<br />Zigganoid: dsi is pointless<br />Galford: The DSi is basically a DS remodelled as a Gizmondo<br />Galford: morons<br />Zigganoid: they bring out the guitar hero controller and a rumble pack for the gba slot then relrelease the ds without it<br />Galford: they are thinking of making games that use the movement captured by the camera to move.<br />Galford: The humble old Giz was doing that 4 years ago!<br />Galford: motherfuckers<br />Galford: unclefuckers<br />Galford: grannyfuckers<br />Zigganoid: yup. ninty should stick to great games and stop fucking around with technology<br />Galford: unknownChinesemanfuckers!<br />Zigganoid: puddlefuckers<br />Galford: fuckyfuckers<br />Galford: Anyway, you must earn pennies<br />Galford: and use them for transport to see my gleeful knuckles<br />Zigganoid: yeah, with that I must go. I have ebay parcels to do before work and i might have to have a quick sf4 battle b4 i go.<br />Galford: me too. I'll be there 90 seonds ago<br />Galford: in the other not so long ago<br />Zigganoid: yup, see you soon. I will confirm when I will be there soon so we can arrange a battle seession<br />Galford: see? I've been and gone. You were crap.<br />Galford: k dude, I have a phone, don't forget!<br />Zigganoid: yup, cheerybye fella<br />Galford: byesybye!<br /><br /><br />Obviously, everything here as it is in our entire blog are our own views and not aimed at anyone or anything in a not-very-nice way. If you are offended by this, please feel free to fuck off and boil your neighbour's little finger. Thankyou!<br /><br />Also, any typing errors are completely intentional. So there. And there.<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-18579226899389913482009-01-28T09:38:00.001-08:002009-01-28T09:38:55.278-08:00I Don’t have Time for Linux…Okay, so at the moment, there are two main aspects to my technological life. There’s gaming obviously, a core component of the physical makeup of my very being. The other is gadgets. Now this is quite possibly a spinoff from my love of gaming, and the technology behind it.<br /><br />Every time a new gaming platform is announced, everyone who can call themselves an expert in the field will endeavour to find out the technical specification of the hardware. This is so that they can be awed by how much more powerful it is than their current system, be the focal point of conversation amongst their piers, or wave the facts in front of the guy who just bought the rival machine. But for me, this was never enough…<br /><br />The problem was, once I had obtained the latest games console, the goal had gone. The wanting appeased. I needed something new to look forward to. Thus started my love of computers, mobile phones, PDAs, and other quirky yet strangely utilitarian gizmos. What this is all getting round to is the purchasing of my new Acer Aspire One netbook.<br /><br />For me, the Aspire One is the perfect gadget. At the moment, anyway. It is a sublime blend of the power of my XPS desktop, mixed with the portability of my MDA. It is not as bulky or heavy as my other laptops, but it is not as powerful either. But that doesn’t bother me, as it is meant to be a loyal companion that lets me do 90% of the things I enjoy doing at home while out and about. There is only one thing to sully this otherwise awesome achievement in mobile technology.<br /><br />Linux. Despite all of it’s advances and trying to throw off the shackles of it’s past, having a near 50/50 share of the netbook market, and being tailor-made for the micro laptop, it is still the preserve of the uber-geek.<br /><br />Now, this had not come as a shock. I had spent a lot of time in shops like Currys and PC World before purchasing said netbook. Enjoying the experience in daily 5 minute intervals. I knew that the one in my price range would have to come with Linux. I really didn’t mind it after trying it out. It was something I thought I could learn, get used to, begin to master… But living with it everyday, that was something totally different. The lack of compatibility, the lack of games, the command line installations, having to take crash courses in GNOME (?!?), having to install 3 programs just in order to see my network, the new file structure, the ease of breaking the OS… and that was only after the first 3 days! After that, it was time to sacrifice a laptop for a Windows installation. Oh, happy days are here again!<br /><br />I know that it’s free. I know that it’s much, much better than it used to be. I know that in some ways, it’s superior to Windows. But I am not the ultimate geek. Neither do I want to be. I do not want to frequent Linux forums to find information where I feel like I’m being watched by people who haven’t set foot out of their parent’s houses in years. I do not want to be a code monkey. So thanks Linux, but it was never meant to be. It was fun for a while, but you’re just a bit too freaky under the covers for me. Later!<br /><br />- GalfordBucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-13319191623254039292009-01-09T08:44:00.000-08:002009-01-09T08:47:46.729-08:00Dirge RacerHello again, and a happy new year to all. Let me also be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas. Fuck yeah.<br /><br />Right, on to the meat (and 2 veg) of today's offering.<br /><br />Ridge Racer. A series of games that really should have finished at the first attempt. Because everything since then has been total and unequivocal shit. It actually seems that the further the more sequels progress, the more and more unrealistic the racing environment becomes...<br /><br />Now, I personally think that the first Ridge Racer was an incredible game. I used to love play the full-scale version, where you actually sat in a Mazda MX5, with a full cinema screen in front of you, and surround-sound making for the last word in immersive driving experiences, long before the fabled Red Letter Days became commonplace. Even after this vanished due to being a colossal waste of money on Namco’s behalf, the game in the arcade cabinet was still fun. Okay, granted, the driving physics were very odd. As long as you were drifting, you would make it round the corner. Every single time. But this was in the days just after Virtua Racing, where driving physics had not been given the Gran Turismo benchmark just yet. Plus, it was done in such a way that you really did feel like it was your talent as the driver that got you round, not Scalextric style handling. The fact that there was only 1 car, and 1.5 tracks could be overlooked too.<br /><br />I tried playing Ridge Racer 2 when it hit the arcades, but it was just not the same. Everything looked similar, but it lacked something. I think it was down to lack of improvement. It was just the original Ridge Racer, with a few new cars & tracks. Actually, looking back… I don’t even know if the cars were new, or just all of the ones that you couldn’t be from the first RR. But, this was not the era of Sega Rally. The first game to really nail the handling. It was perfect. I had Ridge Racer on the PS1 by this point, but after Sega Rally on the Saturn, I don’t think I played it again for months, apart from small sprees to remind me how good it’s Sega counterpart really was.<br /><br />The next Ridge Racer I came into contact with was Ridge Racer 4, on the PS1. This had a total play time of about 15 minutes, because I hated it. I really, really hated it. The handling was still awful, and the car designs left a petrol-head like me practically in mourning. I only bought it because it was in the bargain bin at some big department store, whose name eludes me right now, and because it came with the first real attempt at an analogue driving pad. This also proved to be horrible. Game returned. After this, I did not play a Ridge Racer game again for a long time, because of Gran Turismo 2, 3 and 4, Sega Rally 2, Daytona on the Dreamcast, Grand Theft Auto, Scud Race, Out Run 2, swathes of Need for Speed games and many, many others. Every time I saw a Ridge Racer game advertised, I would habitually avoid it. Then I acquired a Nintendo DS, and a PSP. Now, I waited what seemed to be an eternity for Gran Turismo mobile to come out before I gave up. Ford Racing LA Duel was arse, and there was nothing of any note on the DS. Except Need for Speed Most Wanted and Carbon, but they just didn’t cut it graphically. So I thought I would indulge once again. I bought Ridge Racer for the PSP, and for the DS. I was amazed to find that the PSP version, while being graphically very good, had deteriorated to a level below the first ever Ridge Racer on the handling front. It was diabolical, a total travesty! As long as you were drifting, you could make it round every corner. Even hairpins, during a Nitrous boost, and facing the wrong way! What?!? Plus, the AI was simply awful. Nitrous would spontaneously respawn, and car weight was completely variable. Particularly during races! A boy-racer’s dream, this game. Therefore my idea of hell. So after giving up on that I thought I would give the last bastion of hope a try. The DS version.<br /><br />Well, as it stands, the last time I played it, I was stuck on a race, where despite using the fastest available car, on a track I have now driven hundreds of times, I still cannot beat the dark blue car with the big spoiler. I have given up. Again. Fuck this.<br /><br />So I officially resign from Ridge Racer. The banger racing of the driving world. But I just don’t get it. Namco make games like Soul Calibur. Undoubtedly one of the finest beat ‘em up series of modern times. How could they screw up this bad on their flagship driving game franchise?<br /><br />Well, that’s it. Back to Test Drive Unlimited. Mmmm, yes.<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-1392886716943837892008-12-05T03:36:00.000-08:002008-12-05T03:52:33.464-08:00Games, Tunes and long long waitsOK, so at last the longest delay I can think of is finally over.<br /><br />After a fourteen year wait, guns and roses finally have released the Chinese democracy album.<br />So, technicly I guess its more of an Axl Rose album than GNR as most of the band are missing and slash has been replaced by a guy with a KFC bucket on his head called (I kid you not) Bucket head.<br /><br />Having spent many impatient months and years waiting for the latest games in my favourite series's's's's's' errrr... like street fighter, sonic and paper mario, I should be used to it by now but come on Axl, what the hell have you been doing all this time?<br /><br />Anyway, I digress. When you have been waiting for such a long time for a release, be it music, games or films there is always the risk of serious dissapointment and so being a die hard GNR fan it was with some trepidation I slid Democracy into my aged Kenwood stereo.<br /><br />Verdict?<br />It's good. No really!<br />it's really really good!<br />Worth the wait?<br />Nothing is worth 14 years wait, but it's a damn fine album and maybe in time it will become one of my faves but it's not a patch on Use you illusion 1+2 or Appetite for destruction, but despite of that I am pleased the wait is finally over and looking at the sales, it looks like a lot of people kept the faith but I can't help but think that it should have gone straight in at #1 and stayed there for a long long time and if it had have arrived 5 years ago it would have done.<br /><br />Maybe too much damage has been done by missed deadlines and rumours of 100+ tracks waiting to be recorded for GNR to ever be the bohemoth they once were but at least they are back and hopefully it will only be one or two years before the next one.<br /><br />Yes, we primarily talk of games here at bucket monkey, but hell, you just know guns and roses guitar hero will be along any time now.<br /><br />ZigganoidBucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-90238074850901341022008-12-03T05:50:00.001-08:002008-12-03T05:50:55.514-08:00Incorrect Game ProgressionThe Internet is a fascinating place. I discovered the other day that I can even buy artifacts that are technically illogical. After a bet with some colleagues, I discovered that I could actually buy a chocolate teapot, an inflatable dartboard, a solar powered torch, and a motorbike ashtray (Okay, this was actually an ashtray with a motorbike etched into it, but it still counts!) I am still struggling with a chocolate fireguard (although there is a record label with that name) and a screen door for a submarine. But, I’m pretty sure that it’s only a matter of time…!<br /><br />Anyway, I digress. To the subject at hand – I was sitting in my living room with my 4 year old daughter the other not-so-long-ago, and we were playing a game together. The game in question was a Disney Winnie the Pooh educational game. Obviously at 4 years old, I am not going to subject her to the likes of San Andreas, or Silent Hill. Duh. Now, I know that this game is aimed at her age group, simple colouring games, odd one out, find the sound blah blah yackety schmackety Fatherly advice… and that without too much of my help, completed the game without a fantastic amount of brain power. This made me think back to times when I had struggled to complete games that had a more than significant level of challenge about them. From this, I could not help but wonder how the games industry was setting up my little daughter for the future… The game she was playing seemed to have two aims, to develop her learning skills, while at the same time improving her computer ability. However, delving into my own past made me realise that if she carries on playing games, at what point will they take that oh so familiar U-turn whereby the educational development ceases, and instead the values are challenged. When the fun and frolics of the young mutate into the battle hardened survival instincts required to complete games like Call of Duty. I find it odd that in a video store, there is a comedy section, an action section, a horror section… yet in a games shop, you will quite frequently find games like Silent Hill next to The Sims.<br /><br />I must just take a moment to address the fact that I am not insinuating that I think all adult orientated games are violent or morally wrong, I have been playing games my entire life, and I know a light hearted game from a dark one regardless of genre in the same way that I can distinguish between a teen flick and a horror movie. Everyone has watched children’s TV as a child, and still remembers the first time they saw a film like Silence of the Lambs or Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (not on children’s TV, obviously. Duh again…) For the odd (very odd) one or two who decide that this is the life for them, they get what they deserve. For the rest of us, we remember that it is purely fiction and get on with our well adjusted lives.<br /><br />And the final word – for all of you out there who think it’s very unlikely that my daughter, being of the female species is unlikely to express an interest in Call of Duty – I also have a 2 year old son. I will be watching his gaming development with some interest...<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-22443942293894337002008-11-28T04:02:00.000-08:002008-11-28T04:03:13.840-08:00DSi? Isn’t that a rank in the Police?So, Nintendo have created an update of an update of an overhaul of an update of an upgrade of an update of a concept of a small one-game LCD handheld from 1982. But, is it really anything new?<br /><br />The Nintendo DSi is the latest in a long line of hand-helds that are tiding us over until they can think of something new. However, I will side with Nintendo on the fact that they make something new that is really rough around the edges, and then continuing to improve on it until they have absolutely bled the concept dry. The original GameBoy was a brick, in every way. By the end of it’s particular arc it was the GameBoy Color. Smaller, lighter and generally nicer to use. The original GameBoy Advance was like something from Early Learning, without even so much as a backlight. Two revisions later it was the epoch making Advance SP, finishing off as the Micro. Then, the original DS was a dog, but the DS Lite is quite something to behold, and the DSi is obviously following on the trend that little further. Smaller form factor, bigger screens, other basic revisions… etc. etc.<br /><br />They have certainly made more of an effort than Sony. 3 revisions to the PSP later, and nothing has changed. Even after all this time, they still can’t place the power button in a more sensible place! I can see the design meeting now: ‘Oooh, I know. Let’s change the layout of the buttons and make it a little less hackable. People will want to pay through the nose for that! Right, okay guys, job done. Let’s hit the golf course!’ The PSP, most definitely the Porsche 911 of the gaming world.<br /><br />So, the DSi is just a logical progression of planned technological evolution. I do think though, that the DSi could be heading for a rather sticky, stereotypical end… because they have added a whole new range of functions to it. Okay, the camera is new. But, the ability to play mp3s, view photos and movies, while already available to those with carts like the DSOne, has been done before. Hmmm. Let’s think back… Oh yes. The Gizmondo!<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-43126834934154705502008-10-23T05:08:00.000-07:002008-10-23T05:09:05.540-07:00Ten Percent of a Fifty-Fifty ChanceOkay, so this is bad. What is with Sega? My shining light in the dark world of video games has started to distinctly fade. Having known about most of the Sonic games, and the troubles housed therein amongst others, I was hoping that after a little bit of high-powered inertia which seemed to be dragging down their efforts to create good games into the trough between peaks may have been coming to an end with Golden Axe Beast Rider. Alas not, it seems.<br /><br />Now, everybody knows that Sega’s Arcade games are nearly always top-notch, instantly playable, usually with a good learning curve for those who really get hooked and very graphic-tastic. But why, then do Sega always seem to stumble when it comes to making games that last longer than a pound or a dollar will allow?<br /><br />There is a glaring contrast between the 16 bit era and today. In most cases, in the days of the NES and the Mastersystem, even later on during the domination of the Megadrive and the SNES, we always thought that games programmers were doing the best with what they had to work with. The potential that games could reach always felt hampered by the feeling that the hardware was underpowered. I personally think that was because arcade games were always vastly superior to their home counterparts. These days, there is virtually no difference between the technology in the gaming machines we have at home and the games in the arcade. The main difference lies in the games available. This, I feel is where Sega are letting themselves down. Because people have more time to sit in their living/bedrooms, the games we can play can be much more drawn out and in-depth. I don’t think anyone would want to stand on their feet in a seedy arcade to play World of Warcraft for a 12 hour stretch. That’s like being in the army. If the army played games as part of their training. Which, if they did, I would be toting an M-60 around and desperately trying to get out of going to Afghanistan…<br /><br />Are Sega following the same path as Atari? Will their finest hour come after the darkest? If they insist on continuing to abuse their flagship licenses in this way, they will lose everything. Will there even be another finest hour? Come on guys, step up to the mark, and start thinking outside of the 15 minute arcade mentality. I know you can do it! Just… leave Streets of Rage alone until you have started to gain a little divine inspiration.<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-74321692082171931092008-10-07T07:49:00.000-07:002008-10-07T07:54:22.476-07:00The Great Console DivideFirst of all, apologies for website downage. It appears that I don’t know quite as much about web domain management as I thought I did. I think it’s also fair to say that I don’t know as much about the internal workings of the shrew as I thought I did. Although I don’t think I actually care too much about the latter. Usual service will be resumed shortly. Anyway…<br /><br />I love old games. Personages that frequent these pages will know that by now. In fact, they probably know that to death. However, there is something that I have only just started to understand, and I’m going to share it with you today.<br /><br />When I was growing up, I loved taking trips to the local (and not so local) arcades. I loved playing games that only cost 20p in my youth. I really got my money’s worth, because a lot of these games I could play for a lot longer than the usual five minutes that most people seemed to get out of them. I loved going back again and again, to get a better time, a better score, to progress further into the game or in most cases, feed an addiction. But I was not a big games console player. I was never taken with the ubiquitous Atari 2600. The games were just too basic for my liking. I remember being impressed by the Nintendo Entertainment System, but not enough to warrant the purchase of one. Considering what a Segaphile I am, I didn’t even really take to the Mastersystem until I decided that I wanted something less irritating that my old C64.<br /><br />For me, there was always a big, big difference between an arcade game and it’s home console counterparts. An arcade game was quick, simple, punchy. A five minute blast for the paltry sum of (usually) considerably less than a pound. The only way I could put up with the rubbish that came out for the 8-bit era was by telling myself that these seriously chopped down, simplified excuses for games were to serve as a reminder of the superior coin-op games while I was unable to visit them. Final Fight, for one had a very turbulent time in the home console conversion. The C64 version was rubbish. The Spectrum version was worse. The NES version employed stupid childish graphics. The Amstrad version was a graphical travesty. The Amiga version was unplayable. Even the Super NES version was missing a character until an expansion pack was released at additional cost! I could never understand why. Sure, the arcade cabinets may have cost like ten times more than the average home games console of the time, but the games that were released were in many cases unforgivably poor, unless they were specifically designed for the machine in question.<br /><br />Now, I am a regular viewer of the works of James Rolfe, AKA the Angry Video Game Nerd and it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this. It is true, as much as a lot of die-hard fans will defend these old games until their dying breath, a lot of these portals to the past are really under par. Nowadays, console and computer games are so good, that the arcade is dying. But how did this industry get to this point when it was built on such weak foundations?<br /><br />I personally believe that it’s due to the fact that you would pay up o £1 to play an arcade game, and if it was not good, you didn’t play it again. Games that were rubbish in the arcade didn’t generate much revenue, and were quickly replaced with something better. But for me, spending a few 20p pieces from my weekly allowance was not a lot of money to sacrifice – but buying a computer or console game was. Therefore, in the days before shops like Game let you return your games after 10 days if you didn’t like them, and swap them in for money or a different game, when you bought a game, you were stuck with it. When your only income was £5 a week, this was a big investment. And if it was crap, tough luck. Therefore in order to justify the expenditure, you would play it to death out of principle, probably knocking years off your young life out of total stress. But that did not bother the likes of Atari or Nintendo. You had bought the game, they had made their money and we were the ones that lost out. I entered the world of gaming towards the end of the 8-bit era, thankfully – and was truly wooed by the speedy blue spiky one. Since then, for me at least, there has been no looking back. Well, only looking back to a certain point, anyway.<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-68467391847030733702008-09-25T04:30:00.000-07:002008-09-25T04:33:05.273-07:00A Moment of Silence, Pray…Recently, we lost a friend. A good friend. A friend of many years. A friend that has had a fond mention within the hallowed sanctum that is BucketMonkey more than once.<br /><br />That friend was Weston Super Mare Pier.<br /><br />Now, for those of you who frequent BBC news, or have been anywhere near there recently will have known about this for some time. But for everyone else, Weston Pier was severely ravaged by fire recently.<br /><br />I am writing about it now because I paid Weston a visit a few days ago to see the horror for myself. As I stood there, I felt like I was standing beside someone flat-lining in a hospital bed. It was heart-breaking.<br /><br />The Pier was just over 100 years old, and had seen many big development projects over the years. Apparently, it was meant to be a landing port for steamers, but due to choppy tides, it was converted into a full entertainment venue instead. Stretching 2,000 metres out into the sea, it had everything from a big kid’s fun house to a ferris wheel housed within.<br /><br />But, enough of all that crap. It was also the home to many, many a classic and modern arcade game. I spent a lot of my youth there, sometimes frequenting it’s heavenly eden every weekend… Not a bad feat considering I live over an hour’s drive away and… couldn’t drive. Therefore, due to my complete and utter hatred for public transport, my unbelievably tolerant parents spent a lot of time there too. Weston Pier quite often had the latest games on there – it was the location where I played such games as Final Fight, Daytona USA, Ridge Racer, StreetFighter 2, Tekken and Virtua Fighter for the first time. It was also the place to go where you could find classic old games such as Operation Thunderbolt and Commando tucked away in hitherto forgotten corners with trademark flakey controllers and phosphor-burned screens. One of the few places that had not succumbed to the rob-them-completely-blind concept that is ticket redemption games. Bliss.<br /><br />But now all that has gone. I have heard that there are already plans to resurrect this portal to the past, present and future – but I doubt that it will ever be as awe-inspiring as it once was.<br /><br />A two minute’s silence for the loss of an icon for many a generation. Long live WSMP! <br />- GalfordBucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-32977041633329224492008-05-15T06:56:00.000-07:002008-05-15T07:02:39.350-07:00Harassment at the Workplace...Okay, so I now have semi permanent access to a Wii. I say semi permanent, because it’s actually located at my place of work. So I get all of the joys of playing on a Wii, without actually having to face going out to procure one.<br /><br />Or not, as the case may be.<br /><br />Now, I have never particularly been in favour of the Wii as a console, because <a href="http://bucket-monkey.blogspot.com/2007/10/exactwii-what-i-expected.html">as I have stated before,</a> I really don’t think that it is a serious gaming machine. It still suffers from the old Nintendo stigmatism of being cute and cuddly, and for my money, aimed at a consumer demographic a lot younger than me. That, and being little more a new year’s party distraction. I have never felt particularly cool playing on a Wii, my attempts to play games well normally resulting with me looking like a deranged chimp with Parkinson’s disease. But I guess this was okay, when the rest of the people in the room are either impossibly drunk, tired past the point of no return or just simply not there in the first place. Now imagine trying to maintain some kind of composure when boxing or playing tennis in your lunch break with your colleagues of mutual employment walking past you. Or dodging past, more accurately.<br /><br />The workplace is a bizarre environment. It is a place where the average full-time employee may well spend more time residing in than the comfort of their own home, around people that you see more than your own spouse or offspring in the average working week. Therefore, I am of the opinion that your reputation and moral standing are more important in this pseudo residence than anywhere else. Also from bitter experience, I know how the slightest act of forgetfulness, malice, out-of-character actions or just a simple slip of the tongue can be the beginning of a life-sentence of ridicule. If playing on the Wii is somewhat un-cool in the first place, then the effect is magnified to almost biblical proportions in the office – Multiplied by the fact that I am known as a gamer where I work, and this is just the icing on the top of the proverbial reputation cake. When one of my flailing companions does manage to beat me on the Wii – a console that I am not afraid to admit my lack of competence on – A whole new dimension of soul-crushing ensues. But if I win – then the ‘Well you’re a games nut. I guess we all expected that’ down playing starts.<br /><br />It appears that you’re damned if you do and damned if you Wii. Particularly in a public place…<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-3414488814925176322008-04-28T16:55:00.000-07:002008-04-28T17:26:07.678-07:00Scum societyOkay,<br /> when I post here I usually try to keep things light hearted and amusing. Normally we talk games and electronic culture but sometimes something happens that just blows my mind (for better or worse) and today I read a news story on the bbc site that made me feel physically sick.<br /> A gang of teens have been convicted after beating a gothic girl to death and almost killing her boyfriend too because "They looked different". I am not gothic but I have leanings in that direction and so have had a lot of contact with true goths and I can tell you that you would never meet a more intelligent gentle and genuine group of people (yes of course there are ecceptions but still..). I try very hard not to judge people from how they look, but the chav culture is getting waaaaaay out of hand and it is getting harder and harder to see the best in people when this kind of behaviour is getting more and more commonplace.<br /> Of course if I was to say that just because someone chooses to wear tracksuits, hoodies, baseball caps at a stupid angle and fake gold, they are a thug I would be guilty of predjudice and no better than some of the ignorant masses themselves. But people are getting scared to go out, scared to dress the way they feel comfortable, scared to stand out and scared to be themselves.<br /> I may have a dig at chavs every now and again but the truth is gang mentallity makes me very angry and ashamed to be british. When I see gangs of roaming clones looking to intimidate and make peoples lives a misery, I wonder what is happening to this country and the world as a whole.<br /> I'm not going to go off on a big rant here, but I would like to point you in the direction of the news article that got me so upset...<br /><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7370637.stm">http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7370637.stm</a><br /><br />OK, so they got long long prison sentences, but surely this sort of thing can be avoided. Maybe its time for ASBO's to be abolished and the police force to take stronger action aggainst gangs.<br />The police have to have known that these people were violent and dangerous. Not every assault can be prevented but there must be something that can be done before things get any worse.<br /><br />OK, deep breath now...<br />Had to get that off my chest.<br />Normal service, and gaming goodness will be resumed shortly.<br />Zigganoid.<br />p.s. Anyone who blames video games for the deteriation of society is an idiot.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-62596426012786974682008-04-21T02:58:00.001-07:002008-04-21T03:08:14.891-07:00Fighter's fight backHere at Bucketmonkey.com we love a good scrap, at least in the video games term.<br />I for one am extremely excited by the recent gambits of news flying across e-space about all the returning fighting franchises and new additions to ongoing series.<br /><br />I have a wish list of course like any true gamer has.<br />I want Capcom vs. SNK 3, Marvel vs. capcom 3, Guilty gear vs Samurai showdown, etc....<br />Can you spot the patern?<br /><br />Well it seems as though someone has been reading my mind.<br />With word of Mortal Kombat vs. DC universe, and Soul Calibur 4 featuring Darth Vader and Yoda (I want spawn back!), Street fighter 4, and new Guilty gear and TNA Impact on the way, I'm set to be a very happy camper.<br /><br />But then I got to wondering, who from the DC universe will be featured in MK vs. DC?<br />Batman and Superman are both confirmed, but so far that's it.<br />I prey we don't have to suffer Wonder woman and Robin, but Nighthawk, Joker, Bane and Lobo would be just awesome.<br /><br />Of course what I really want is Capcom to make DC vs Marvel but I guess thats too much to hope for.<br /><br />Later, true believers<br />ZigganoidBucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-67858453541268884962008-04-04T02:15:00.000-07:002008-04-04T02:20:18.597-07:00Quit while you’re behind…Okay, I hereby revoke my own subscription to the Sony store. What a load of shit. I honestly thought, when it started out that it would be the answer to all of my ‘But I want to play PS1 games on my PSP’ lamentations. I sang it’s praises when I first learned of it’s existence. Now, I realise that the Sony Store reflects everything I remember about my experiences with the original Playstation.<br /><br />My purchase of a PS1 was more of an afterthought. I had a Sega Saturn. I still had a MegaDrive on my desk along with a PC and an Amiga. I was more than happy with my lot. But, I pined after the great Gran Turismo. It was around this time that I learned that the PS1 had been subject to the usual 6 monthly increment reduction in price. This was around a year into the Playstation’s life, and I had already learned from the Mega CD and 32X debacle that I should not purchase games consoles upon launch. The price tag was around the £100 mark, I had just been paid, and I thought what the hell, I would invest. I purchased it brand-new, with a copy of said game. Over the next month or so, I also purchased half a dozen more titles, including Tenchu, Streetfighter EX+Alpha, and Driver. Then, the fateful day arrived. I walked into my local Electronics Boutique (as it was at the time) to decide on my next title. After wandering up and down the PS aisle for at least 30 minutes, I was shocked and dismayed to discover that everything else was total dross. Uninspiring, boring, under-par, pointless, or just a complete waste of my hard-earned cash. There were at least four times more games in the Playstation section than the now dwindling Saturn section, yet I could glance across and see many classic Sega titles, most of which I owned, many of which I wanted a hell of a lot more than all this PS shite. It was then that the cold feeling of realisation that I had bought a turkey. In the entire course of owning an original Playstation, I only bought a grand total of 8 games – compared to the near 100 titles on the Saturn, and God only knows how many PC games. I have owned almost every games system in existence at some point in time, but none have had the dubious accolade that the Playstation had of ‘Most Uninspired Waste of Money’. None.<br /><br />The Sony Store is doing exactly the same thing. I have a handful of titles from the woefully under stocked European version of the store. Destruction Derby. Wipeout. Hardcore 4x4. The Ridge Racer 2 demo. The Wipeout Pure Demo. And that’s it. Nothing else on there is even remotely worth the money that is now stuck in my account due to the minimum deposit requirement.<br /><br />Thanks a fucking lot, Sony.<br /><br />Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-3871567962977752692008-03-17T09:03:00.000-07:002008-03-17T09:08:23.599-07:00Lead Me Not Into Temptation…?Okay, so <a href="http://www.cex.co.uk/">CeX Computer Exchange </a>(is that pronounced Kex, or Sex?) is nothing new. They have been around for a while. My nearest one resided comfortably far away, in the not-very local shopping centre Merry Hill. I have hitherto avoided this haven on the grounds that it would ultimately bankrupt me. But no. The slavering tentacles of what is quite possibly the perfect chain of shops has just landed in my home town. Worse yet, within 100 yards of my current place of employment…!<br /><br />Apart from eBay, there is nothing that comes close to this paradise. A shop, specialising in buying, selling and exchanging games, gadgets and phones, Undercutting Gamestation and Game for second-hand PSPs and the like. I am the technology rag-and-bone man, and I love amassing used stuff both because it is cheaper than new, and if it’s flat lining or completely dead, I like nothing more in assuming the role of Lazarus or Dr. Frankenstein by breathing new life into it. This is the sort of shop I want to own. Apart from the fact that it would not make any money, because I would personally lust over everything that came in through the door. The bowels of the shop already look like my office desk, albeit better equipped.<br /><br />I have already been known to pour far too much money into eBay, buying oddities that I will then systematically gang-rape in order to discover every possible function. I love making things do stuff that they were not exactly designed for, and my <a href="http://www.gizmondohomebrewblog.blogspot.com/">Gizmondo</a> is the ultimate flagship on the subject. I am not geeky enough to write the programs myself, but I will go out of my way to find them. The thing with eBay always was – all you see of your potential purchase is a very low-grade photo. That’s normally enough to put you off there and then. But, when it’s right in front of you, like Jessica Simpson in an edible bikini, it’s really (I mean really) hard to ignore. It’s true. There’s very little I won’t do for CeX…!?!<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-2404062696030477392008-02-26T08:06:00.000-08:002008-02-26T08:11:35.781-08:00The Contemporary VeteranWell, here’s an interesting one. Not all that long ago, in a pre-redesign post, I mentioned that the Gizmondo should be re-invented, become a public-domain handheld games console due to it’s flexibility and homebrew. Well, it seems that someone was listening. And that someone just happens to be one of the original founders of the old Giz. Now I do realise that there is a little inflated self-importance here. I must be honest, I do not think for one minute that it was my efforts that brought on this turn of events… but I can pretend.<br /><br />I happened upon an interesting topic on one of my regular haunts recently. The question was raised – which games are better, old or new? A lot of people will automatically jump onto one band wagon or the other, as was obvious in the thread. A few would pull out very specific titles from their own personal games-playing past, and others seem to enjoy exhaustively demolishing games that have already been dissected due to substandard ness previously. I however, did my usual trick and read far too deeply into the subject matter.<br /><br />It seems to me that what we have here is a paradox. Because without new games, there would be no old ones. As with everything in life, if you do not experience the new, then there can <em>be</em> no old. A lot of people were saying that older games lack the graphics, gameplay or quality of new titles. This surely goes without saying, as games are forever improving. On the other hand, I do believe that new games are subject to such stringent rules and expectations from the industry and the players that in some ways, they over-improve. GTA Vice City was great, and is already on the way to becoming a modern-day classic. San Andreas? Yes. Good game. But does it really need to be that complicated and big? Final Fight will always be one of my own personal favourites. But Final Fight: Streetwise seems to have been on the receiving end of a lot of effort to disassociate it from the original. Yet it is a good game. Strike me down if it fails to entertain. No! Not with a Dragon Punch, thank you!<br /><br />We love new games. We get to sample some of the most cutting edge design and technology. We get to marvel at the fantastic graphics, the fluid and engaging gameplay. Explore massive new worlds and tailor our avatars. Feast on all the extras. Yet we love old games. The quirkiness of the controls, the glitches. The nonsensical or complete lack of storylines. Yet the feeling that we belong within the universes of both old and new games.<br /><br />Which is better, old or new games? That, is a very good question.<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-8115972784285991352008-02-20T09:31:00.000-08:002008-02-20T09:34:14.401-08:00Long Live the Arcade!Okay, so we all know that the video arcade as we know it is coming to the end of its life. Gone are the days when I could go down to my local Shipley’s or Quasar, Armed with the loose change left over from my week’s pocket money (or a generous cash injection from my ever benevolent parents) and spend some time engaging in one of my all-time favourite pastimes. In my hometown, the establishments that used to house row upon row of video gaming bliss are still there, but now they have simply replaced everything with gambling machines. I completely misunderstand the allure of any of these money-suckers.<br /><br />To my knowledge, there is only one sort of place where you still find arcades that house semi-modern games of this ilk, and that is at the coast. I recently visited Weston Super-Mare of a weekend. This used to be a haven where in my Youth, I would travel down with my parents for the day, and upon arriving and securing copious amounts of junk food, left them to wander aimlessly while I frequented all of the local arcades. I could spend the whole day darting from one gaming parlor to the next, spending coinage with complete carefree abandon.<br /><br />That was 15 years ago. Shit, I feel old.<br /><br />Now, there is only one place left in Weston that still has that nostalgic feel. The pier. It’s amazing just how much they can cram onto those timbered floors, and there is a certain feel of unease when you stand playing a game, and you can see the sea pulsating through the cracks in the boards right beneath your feet…<br /><br />I love these places. I also know of arcades in Blackpool, St. Ives, and the Isle of Wight. To name a few. The only problem I have now is, with a family in tow – I don’t generally get to spend anywhere near a fraction of the time I used to playing these last bastions of my vanishing youth. When my kids get a bit older, I may be able to get them to understand the virtues of these sacred places. Until then, I must sit back and watch, and hope that when the time comes, I can return to what is now nostalgic bliss. I hope that the humble video arcade still exists…<br /><br />- Galford.Bucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9042135624711764661.post-6135740118836424832008-02-07T09:09:00.000-08:002008-02-07T09:16:46.560-08:00NO! Bad PSP! Dirty, DIRTY!Okay, so here is a bit of advice for all would-be self-servicing games console owners out there. I am not addressing the professionals, the sort of people who completely neon-up their X-boxes, because doing it to your car is now illegal, I am talking about the dabblers. People who feel like having a go. People equipped with a penknife and a blush-brush. People like me, it seems. Do not, under any circumstances attempt to clean the innards of your PSP. It will drive you clinically <em>insane.</em> It will <em>never</em> be clean enough.<br /><br />Recently, I decided that there was far too much dust under the plastic fascia, and elected to remove and clean it. So, armed with a small Philips screwdriver, fresh-air spray, some computer monitor cleaner, a blush brush (not from my own personal collection, I might add) and a glasses cloth I set to work. Getting the fascia off was easy. But that was much, much less than half the battle. I didn't realise quite how many times I would be repeating this part of the procedure. First things first. Give it a blast with the air spray. It removed most of the dust, but unfortunately agitated all of the other invisible dust that had gotten in from much pocket-carrying. So, after half a dozen more sprays, I set to the outside and inside of the fascia plate with the monitor cleaner and glasses cloth. Now I wear glasses. I know how delicate they are, and how the slightest scratch can cause untold and continuous irritation by being permanently in view, until such time as I can afford to get the lenses replaced. So I cleaned extremely gently, with the utmost of care using practically no pressure at all. After letting it dry, I then replaced it back to it's familiar position on the PSP. Then, I realised that in replacing the fascia, I had disrupted yet more dust in the actual PSP itself, and now more crap lay between the main screen and the display than when I had first started! Annoyance. Displeasedness. So I started to remove the fascia once again.<br /><br />Several more blasts with the air spray later, the screen was almost clean again. A momentary lapse in concentration made me wipe the inside of the screen with the back of my hand. Smudge marks! More cleaning a la glasses cloth & monitor cleaner. Fascia replaced.<br /><br />This time, much better. Or, so I thought. I was still annoyed by absolutely miniscule pieces of debris that had still managed to work their way onto the screen. I should not be this pedantic, but after all my efforts I wanted absolutely crystal clearness from my PSP's display. Calm down, I thought. I do not have access to a dust-free chamber. Live with it. And I did, until I came to play in daylight...<br /><br />Despite my oh-so careful cleaning with the cloth and cleaner, the inside of the display looked as if I had rubbed it down with sandpaper! What? <em>What the fuck is this??</em> I could not play in any kind of light if I wanted to see what I was fucking doing! I eventually had to resign to the fact that I was going to have to purchase a brand-new fascia. What a drag!<br /><br />I did not want a cheap Hong Kong knockoff, and I didn't want to have to pay the £30 Sony was asking! 3 new Fascias, or a new PSP...? Tough decision... er, niet!<br /><br />I finally found a genuine fascia on eBay in Florida. <em>Florida!!</em> Well, it arrived, and I started painstakingly placing it on my PSP. Then, I took it off again. There was a human head hair in there! What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? For Christ's sake. Eventually, job done. Or so I thought. Now, I notice that I can't see the power light, the Wifi light, or the Memory Stick light. The plastic conductors that are required to transfer the light from the chassis LEDs to the front of the fascia are not present! Nor are they available anywhere on the Internet! And I cannot remove them from the old fascia, because they are welded into place.<br /><br />I am now going to lapse into maniacal laughter, clawing at the walls...<br /><br />- GalfordBucketmonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11009486485066705308noreply@blogger.com0