Monday, 28 April 2008

Scum society

Okay,
when I post here I usually try to keep things light hearted and amusing. Normally we talk games and electronic culture but sometimes something happens that just blows my mind (for better or worse) and today I read a news story on the bbc site that made me feel physically sick.
A gang of teens have been convicted after beating a gothic girl to death and almost killing her boyfriend too because "They looked different". I am not gothic but I have leanings in that direction and so have had a lot of contact with true goths and I can tell you that you would never meet a more intelligent gentle and genuine group of people (yes of course there are ecceptions but still..). I try very hard not to judge people from how they look, but the chav culture is getting waaaaaay out of hand and it is getting harder and harder to see the best in people when this kind of behaviour is getting more and more commonplace.
Of course if I was to say that just because someone chooses to wear tracksuits, hoodies, baseball caps at a stupid angle and fake gold, they are a thug I would be guilty of predjudice and no better than some of the ignorant masses themselves. But people are getting scared to go out, scared to dress the way they feel comfortable, scared to stand out and scared to be themselves.
I may have a dig at chavs every now and again but the truth is gang mentallity makes me very angry and ashamed to be british. When I see gangs of roaming clones looking to intimidate and make peoples lives a misery, I wonder what is happening to this country and the world as a whole.
I'm not going to go off on a big rant here, but I would like to point you in the direction of the news article that got me so upset...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/7370637.stm

OK, so they got long long prison sentences, but surely this sort of thing can be avoided. Maybe its time for ASBO's to be abolished and the police force to take stronger action aggainst gangs.
The police have to have known that these people were violent and dangerous. Not every assault can be prevented but there must be something that can be done before things get any worse.

OK, deep breath now...
Had to get that off my chest.
Normal service, and gaming goodness will be resumed shortly.
Zigganoid.
p.s. Anyone who blames video games for the deteriation of society is an idiot.

Monday, 21 April 2008

Fighter's fight back

Here at Bucketmonkey.com we love a good scrap, at least in the video games term.
I for one am extremely excited by the recent gambits of news flying across e-space about all the returning fighting franchises and new additions to ongoing series.

I have a wish list of course like any true gamer has.
I want Capcom vs. SNK 3, Marvel vs. capcom 3, Guilty gear vs Samurai showdown, etc....
Can you spot the patern?

Well it seems as though someone has been reading my mind.
With word of Mortal Kombat vs. DC universe, and Soul Calibur 4 featuring Darth Vader and Yoda (I want spawn back!), Street fighter 4, and new Guilty gear and TNA Impact on the way, I'm set to be a very happy camper.

But then I got to wondering, who from the DC universe will be featured in MK vs. DC?
Batman and Superman are both confirmed, but so far that's it.
I prey we don't have to suffer Wonder woman and Robin, but Nighthawk, Joker, Bane and Lobo would be just awesome.

Of course what I really want is Capcom to make DC vs Marvel but I guess thats too much to hope for.

Later, true believers
Zigganoid

Friday, 4 April 2008

Quit while you’re behind…

Okay, I hereby revoke my own subscription to the Sony store. What a load of shit. I honestly thought, when it started out that it would be the answer to all of my ‘But I want to play PS1 games on my PSP’ lamentations. I sang it’s praises when I first learned of it’s existence. Now, I realise that the Sony Store reflects everything I remember about my experiences with the original Playstation.

My purchase of a PS1 was more of an afterthought. I had a Sega Saturn. I still had a MegaDrive on my desk along with a PC and an Amiga. I was more than happy with my lot. But, I pined after the great Gran Turismo. It was around this time that I learned that the PS1 had been subject to the usual 6 monthly increment reduction in price. This was around a year into the Playstation’s life, and I had already learned from the Mega CD and 32X debacle that I should not purchase games consoles upon launch. The price tag was around the £100 mark, I had just been paid, and I thought what the hell, I would invest. I purchased it brand-new, with a copy of said game. Over the next month or so, I also purchased half a dozen more titles, including Tenchu, Streetfighter EX+Alpha, and Driver. Then, the fateful day arrived. I walked into my local Electronics Boutique (as it was at the time) to decide on my next title. After wandering up and down the PS aisle for at least 30 minutes, I was shocked and dismayed to discover that everything else was total dross. Uninspiring, boring, under-par, pointless, or just a complete waste of my hard-earned cash. There were at least four times more games in the Playstation section than the now dwindling Saturn section, yet I could glance across and see many classic Sega titles, most of which I owned, many of which I wanted a hell of a lot more than all this PS shite. It was then that the cold feeling of realisation that I had bought a turkey. In the entire course of owning an original Playstation, I only bought a grand total of 8 games – compared to the near 100 titles on the Saturn, and God only knows how many PC games. I have owned almost every games system in existence at some point in time, but none have had the dubious accolade that the Playstation had of ‘Most Uninspired Waste of Money’. None.

The Sony Store is doing exactly the same thing. I have a handful of titles from the woefully under stocked European version of the store. Destruction Derby. Wipeout. Hardcore 4x4. The Ridge Racer 2 demo. The Wipeout Pure Demo. And that’s it. Nothing else on there is even remotely worth the money that is now stuck in my account due to the minimum deposit requirement.

Thanks a fucking lot, Sony.

Galford.

Monday, 17 March 2008

Lead Me Not Into Temptation…?

Okay, so CeX Computer Exchange (is that pronounced Kex, or Sex?) is nothing new. They have been around for a while. My nearest one resided comfortably far away, in the not-very local shopping centre Merry Hill. I have hitherto avoided this haven on the grounds that it would ultimately bankrupt me. But no. The slavering tentacles of what is quite possibly the perfect chain of shops has just landed in my home town. Worse yet, within 100 yards of my current place of employment…!

Apart from eBay, there is nothing that comes close to this paradise. A shop, specialising in buying, selling and exchanging games, gadgets and phones, Undercutting Gamestation and Game for second-hand PSPs and the like. I am the technology rag-and-bone man, and I love amassing used stuff both because it is cheaper than new, and if it’s flat lining or completely dead, I like nothing more in assuming the role of Lazarus or Dr. Frankenstein by breathing new life into it. This is the sort of shop I want to own. Apart from the fact that it would not make any money, because I would personally lust over everything that came in through the door. The bowels of the shop already look like my office desk, albeit better equipped.

I have already been known to pour far too much money into eBay, buying oddities that I will then systematically gang-rape in order to discover every possible function. I love making things do stuff that they were not exactly designed for, and my Gizmondo is the ultimate flagship on the subject. I am not geeky enough to write the programs myself, but I will go out of my way to find them. The thing with eBay always was – all you see of your potential purchase is a very low-grade photo. That’s normally enough to put you off there and then. But, when it’s right in front of you, like Jessica Simpson in an edible bikini, it’s really (I mean really) hard to ignore. It’s true. There’s very little I won’t do for CeX…!?!

- Galford.

Tuesday, 26 February 2008

The Contemporary Veteran

Well, here’s an interesting one. Not all that long ago, in a pre-redesign post, I mentioned that the Gizmondo should be re-invented, become a public-domain handheld games console due to it’s flexibility and homebrew. Well, it seems that someone was listening. And that someone just happens to be one of the original founders of the old Giz. Now I do realise that there is a little inflated self-importance here. I must be honest, I do not think for one minute that it was my efforts that brought on this turn of events… but I can pretend.

I happened upon an interesting topic on one of my regular haunts recently. The question was raised – which games are better, old or new? A lot of people will automatically jump onto one band wagon or the other, as was obvious in the thread. A few would pull out very specific titles from their own personal games-playing past, and others seem to enjoy exhaustively demolishing games that have already been dissected due to substandard ness previously. I however, did my usual trick and read far too deeply into the subject matter.

It seems to me that what we have here is a paradox. Because without new games, there would be no old ones. As with everything in life, if you do not experience the new, then there can be no old. A lot of people were saying that older games lack the graphics, gameplay or quality of new titles. This surely goes without saying, as games are forever improving. On the other hand, I do believe that new games are subject to such stringent rules and expectations from the industry and the players that in some ways, they over-improve. GTA Vice City was great, and is already on the way to becoming a modern-day classic. San Andreas? Yes. Good game. But does it really need to be that complicated and big? Final Fight will always be one of my own personal favourites. But Final Fight: Streetwise seems to have been on the receiving end of a lot of effort to disassociate it from the original. Yet it is a good game. Strike me down if it fails to entertain. No! Not with a Dragon Punch, thank you!

We love new games. We get to sample some of the most cutting edge design and technology. We get to marvel at the fantastic graphics, the fluid and engaging gameplay. Explore massive new worlds and tailor our avatars. Feast on all the extras. Yet we love old games. The quirkiness of the controls, the glitches. The nonsensical or complete lack of storylines. Yet the feeling that we belong within the universes of both old and new games.

Which is better, old or new games? That, is a very good question.

- Galford.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

Long Live the Arcade!

Okay, so we all know that the video arcade as we know it is coming to the end of its life. Gone are the days when I could go down to my local Shipley’s or Quasar, Armed with the loose change left over from my week’s pocket money (or a generous cash injection from my ever benevolent parents) and spend some time engaging in one of my all-time favourite pastimes. In my hometown, the establishments that used to house row upon row of video gaming bliss are still there, but now they have simply replaced everything with gambling machines. I completely misunderstand the allure of any of these money-suckers.

To my knowledge, there is only one sort of place where you still find arcades that house semi-modern games of this ilk, and that is at the coast. I recently visited Weston Super-Mare of a weekend. This used to be a haven where in my Youth, I would travel down with my parents for the day, and upon arriving and securing copious amounts of junk food, left them to wander aimlessly while I frequented all of the local arcades. I could spend the whole day darting from one gaming parlor to the next, spending coinage with complete carefree abandon.

That was 15 years ago. Shit, I feel old.

Now, there is only one place left in Weston that still has that nostalgic feel. The pier. It’s amazing just how much they can cram onto those timbered floors, and there is a certain feel of unease when you stand playing a game, and you can see the sea pulsating through the cracks in the boards right beneath your feet…

I love these places. I also know of arcades in Blackpool, St. Ives, and the Isle of Wight. To name a few. The only problem I have now is, with a family in tow – I don’t generally get to spend anywhere near a fraction of the time I used to playing these last bastions of my vanishing youth. When my kids get a bit older, I may be able to get them to understand the virtues of these sacred places. Until then, I must sit back and watch, and hope that when the time comes, I can return to what is now nostalgic bliss. I hope that the humble video arcade still exists…

- Galford.

Thursday, 7 February 2008

NO! Bad PSP! Dirty, DIRTY!

Okay, so here is a bit of advice for all would-be self-servicing games console owners out there. I am not addressing the professionals, the sort of people who completely neon-up their X-boxes, because doing it to your car is now illegal, I am talking about the dabblers. People who feel like having a go. People equipped with a penknife and a blush-brush. People like me, it seems. Do not, under any circumstances attempt to clean the innards of your PSP. It will drive you clinically insane. It will never be clean enough.

Recently, I decided that there was far too much dust under the plastic fascia, and elected to remove and clean it. So, armed with a small Philips screwdriver, fresh-air spray, some computer monitor cleaner, a blush brush (not from my own personal collection, I might add) and a glasses cloth I set to work. Getting the fascia off was easy. But that was much, much less than half the battle. I didn't realise quite how many times I would be repeating this part of the procedure. First things first. Give it a blast with the air spray. It removed most of the dust, but unfortunately agitated all of the other invisible dust that had gotten in from much pocket-carrying. So, after half a dozen more sprays, I set to the outside and inside of the fascia plate with the monitor cleaner and glasses cloth. Now I wear glasses. I know how delicate they are, and how the slightest scratch can cause untold and continuous irritation by being permanently in view, until such time as I can afford to get the lenses replaced. So I cleaned extremely gently, with the utmost of care using practically no pressure at all. After letting it dry, I then replaced it back to it's familiar position on the PSP. Then, I realised that in replacing the fascia, I had disrupted yet more dust in the actual PSP itself, and now more crap lay between the main screen and the display than when I had first started! Annoyance. Displeasedness. So I started to remove the fascia once again.

Several more blasts with the air spray later, the screen was almost clean again. A momentary lapse in concentration made me wipe the inside of the screen with the back of my hand. Smudge marks! More cleaning a la glasses cloth & monitor cleaner. Fascia replaced.

This time, much better. Or, so I thought. I was still annoyed by absolutely miniscule pieces of debris that had still managed to work their way onto the screen. I should not be this pedantic, but after all my efforts I wanted absolutely crystal clearness from my PSP's display. Calm down, I thought. I do not have access to a dust-free chamber. Live with it. And I did, until I came to play in daylight...

Despite my oh-so careful cleaning with the cloth and cleaner, the inside of the display looked as if I had rubbed it down with sandpaper! What? What the fuck is this?? I could not play in any kind of light if I wanted to see what I was fucking doing! I eventually had to resign to the fact that I was going to have to purchase a brand-new fascia. What a drag!

I did not want a cheap Hong Kong knockoff, and I didn't want to have to pay the £30 Sony was asking! 3 new Fascias, or a new PSP...? Tough decision... er, niet!

I finally found a genuine fascia on eBay in Florida. Florida!! Well, it arrived, and I started painstakingly placing it on my PSP. Then, I took it off again. There was a human head hair in there! What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? For Christ's sake. Eventually, job done. Or so I thought. Now, I notice that I can't see the power light, the Wifi light, or the Memory Stick light. The plastic conductors that are required to transfer the light from the chassis LEDs to the front of the fascia are not present! Nor are they available anywhere on the Internet! And I cannot remove them from the old fascia, because they are welded into place.

I am now going to lapse into maniacal laughter, clawing at the walls...

- Galford